Designer: So, David*, what are you doing tonight?
Deaf box office manager: I’m-on-eh-leh.
Designer: Oh, you’re going to get laid?
(deaf box office manager nods)
Designer: Well, that’s nice.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Designer: So, David*, what are you doing tonight?
Deaf box office manager: I’m-on-eh-leh.
Designer: Oh, you’re going to get laid?
(deaf box office manager nods)
Designer: Well, that’s nice.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Middle management: Hey, I like your tie. It looks very vintage.
Regular employee: “Vintage”…Yeah, hey I like that! That sounds great!
Later, at lunch.
Regular employee: Hey, guys, check this out! I just put cheese on my soup. Now that is vintage!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Employee #1: You’re making a mess with the mail. Envelopes are all over the place. They’re calling me to come clean them up.
Employee #2: They’re calling you? What are they saying?
Employee #1: “Come clean me up. I’m strewn about the table.”
Employee #2: …Because evelopes have such a good vocabulary.
Employee #1: Of course they do. That’s why they don’t stay sealed. They’ve got a lot to say.
12100 I-40 East
Amarillo, Texas
Annoying coworker #1: Hey, this guy's last name is German!
Annoying coworker #2: Is he a foreigner? Myself… (bangs head on desk)
Fullerton, California
Overheard by: Monica
Coworker #1: Is it in regular writing or slanty writing?
Coworker #2: “Slanty” writing? Italics?
Coworker #1: No, italics is when it is bold.
Medical Office
Durham, North Carolina
Suit: Do you have what I call a “sharpie”?
Secretary: …what you call a sharpie?
Suit: Yes.
Secretary: …you and no one else?
Suit: It’s like a, a felt-tipped pen.
Secretary: Oh, I know what it is.
Suit: Well, most people don’t know what it’s called.
Secretary: You’re kidding, right? It says it right on the pen.
Suit: Well, do you have one?
Secretary: Yes. Yes, I do. I keep it here in what I call my “drawer”.
795 Spring Street
San Francisco, California
Receptionist: What’s a brainteaser?
16 Bailey Avenue
Ridgefield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nikki
Passing hallway drone: You’re so far off from being okay that I don’t even know where to begin.
304 Park Avenue South
New York, New York
VP, introducing new hire at annual opening community meeting: And Tina* here really likes big equipment! (faculty & staff laugh) Well, she used to work for Caterpillar.
President: Sit down, Neal*.
Greensboro, North Carolina
Social worker: Crap! I spelled “I am” wrong!
Chicago, Illinois
