Manager: Yes, he's alive because he ate monkey shit.
Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia
Manager: Yes, he's alive because he ate monkey shit.
Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia
Finance clerk: I couldn't get it up!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Receptionitis
IT: That’s “Venus”, our main file server.
Architect: Why is it called “Venus”?
IT: Becuase it’s a big black bad-ass server.
603 King Street
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: Charles Warren
Editor to legal reporter: Did you write the story about whether sex was a major life activity?
Crystal City, Virginia
Insurance agent on phone: Garbage? You said garbage? But if it’s garbage, why would you need to insure garbage??
East Little Creek Road
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: kim
Manager: Since I don't have any feelings or emotion, it kinda doesn't get in the way.
Richmond, Virginia
Concerned mother on phone: My son just informed me that the room deposits are due tomorrow.
Secretary: Yes.
Mother: But I’m in Germany, and if I mailed in the money it would take two weeks.
Secretary: Your son could pay with a debit card or cash.
Mother: I gave him a debit card and he lost it.
Secretary: Uh-huh.
Mother: … My son is a goddamned idiot.
Virginia
Female designer: If you show up, you can watch me use your hard drive.
IT guy: Ummm…
44 Canal Center Plaza
Alexandria, Virginia
Scared CSR: Someone just blew up the bathroom!
Marshall Street
Richmond, Virginia
Coworker #1: So you can swallow it all right? You don't have to keep spitting out every sample, do you?
Coworker #2: No… You can swallow.
Lorton, Virginia
