Bossman, loudly: I need three large boxes of navels, shipped out tomorrow.
Office peon: Ew… bellybuttons. That's gross. So, is that a meat order, then?
Hill Country, Texas
Overheard by: front desk of the fruit shippers
Bossman, loudly: I need three large boxes of navels, shipped out tomorrow.
Office peon: Ew… bellybuttons. That's gross. So, is that a meat order, then?
Hill Country, Texas
Overheard by: front desk of the fruit shippers
Office girl to colleague: Is it in the toilet?
Ft. Worth, Texas
Overheard by: NICK BUDROS
Young engineer #1: Hey, dude, how are you?
Young engineer #2: Oh, man, Johnson is killing me today!
Greenville, Texas
Female coworker #1: Ohmigod, my plant's dead…
Female coworker #2: I can't believe you whined and complained for months about how you didn't get a “new hire plant” like everyone else, and when you get one… a week later it's dead because you don't water it.
Female coworker #3: I heard all these plants are responsibility tests. If you kill the plant, you're gone.
Boss over intercom to coworker #1: Report to my office immediately.
Female coworker #2: He knows about the plant.
Female coworker #1: Fuck.
McKinney, Texas
Coworker: Yeah, so long as it's pink I don't care if it's bloody. Wait a sec…
Texas
Overheard by: Janie
Office manager, on decrease of patient numbers: Well, doc, I know you're going down on your patients but… wait, that wasn't the right way to say that.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Jill
Cafe register girl: If I hadn't opened my legs, it wouldn't have fallen out. And when it did fall, it made a lot of noise!
Austin, Texas
Coworker: My wife doesn't do it rough enough. You know how it is: women just don't have strong enough hands.
Austin, Texas
Office goon #1: Girl, you were so drunk on Saturday night!
Office goon #2: No! I wasn't drunk…I was drugged!
Austin, Texas
Drone: How do you get involved in the human organ market? Does someone just approach you and ask if you want to start selling kidneys?
Kingsville, Texas
