How Are Bambi and the Kids, Anyway?

Salesperson, leaving voicemail for customer: Hey there, it's me! Guess you're out killing Bambi–call me back when you get back in town!

Austin, Texas

Posted on November 17, 2014
Animals, Customers, On the phone, Sales, Texas, Travel, Violence, Weirdness

It's Important to Get the Right Flavor Myth

Office drone #1: Yeah, and Hercules lost all his strength when he got his hair cut.
Office drone #2: Do you mean Hercules or Samsung?

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: DelilahWorkedforSony

Posted on November 16, 2014
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Names, Questions, Texas

Oh, Relax! Just Kinky Fellatio.

Coworker #1, about Tesla cars: Those things were blowing trannies when they came out.
Coworker #2: Wait, what are you guys talking about?

The Woodlands, Texas

Overheard by: Jeremy

Posted on November 15, 2014
Coworkers, Sexuality, Technology, Texas

…As I Do in All Of My Dreams.

Advisor on phone: Since I'm not there anymore, you need to let the whole office know about that little victory! If nothing else…just so that I can toot my horn through your mouth!

El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: Band Nerd

Posted on November 15, 2014
Body Parts, Consultants, On the phone, Sexuality, Texas

Ironically, Her Married Name Is Anita Mann.

Coworker on phone: Hello, is Anita Ho in?

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Ladycop

Posted on November 14, 2014
Coworkers, Names, On the phone, Questions, Texas

Hence the Old Expression “Hung Like a Texas Grandma”

Peon, to neighbor: At least I know how to spell it. I may not know how to spell totes, but I know how to spell that word.
Boss, interrupting: What do you know how to spell?
Peon: Vasectomy. V-a-s-e-c-t-o-m-y.
Boss: And in what context do you need to spell “vasectomy” in a work e-mail?
Peon: I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on with this dude, he's going to be on the phone a lot today.
Boss: Dude is getting a vasectomy?
Peon, pointing back and forth to her left and right boob: No, his grandma is.
Boss: Yeah, that's not a vasectomy.

Humble, Texas

Posted on November 5, 2014
Body Parts, Bosses, Family, Health & Hygiene, Internet, Questions, Texas, Words

His Role Model Is Puck from The Real World: San Francisco

Super-hyper guy: If anyone ever saw what I did to my peanut butter, then they definitely wouldn't want it!

Austin, Texas

Posted on November 5, 2014
Employees, Health & Hygiene, Texas, Weirdness

The More Meetings We Have to Improve Things, the Worse Things Get

Tech manager: The sales manager cannot take that complaint call because he is preparing to go to a CRM meeting.
Tech supervisor: What is CRM?
Tech manager: Customer relations management.
Tech supervisor: Can you see the irony in that?
Tech manager: Well, they are having this meeting so that this sort of problem doesn’t happen.
Tech supervisor: Can you see the irony in that, too?

Houston, Texas