Suit: It was kind of like Little Red Riding Hood, except with Mexican hookers.
Irving, Texas
Suit: It was kind of like Little Red Riding Hood, except with Mexican hookers.
Irving, Texas
Woman in elevator, pointing to sonogram picture: What is that?
Man showing the sonogram: Oh, she is holding his testicle.
Dallas, Texas
Worker #1 on speaker: I was wondering why [Billy] hasn’t called me yet.
Worker #2 on speaker: I’ll go make sure he calls you this time.
Worker #1 on speaker: Do me a favor and punch him in the kidney as you walk by for me! Make him crap blood for a night so he can think it over.
1 Dell Way
Round Rock, Texas
Manager loudly on phone: Now you're gonna have to put a golf ball in there, and it'll be twice as big!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Nator
Salesperson, leaving voicemail for customer: Hey there, it's me! Guess you're out killing Bambi–call me back when you get back in town!
Austin, Texas
Office drone #1: Yeah, and Hercules lost all his strength when he got his hair cut.
Office drone #2: Do you mean Hercules or Samsung?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: DelilahWorkedforSony
Coworker #1, about Tesla cars: Those things were blowing trannies when they came out.
Coworker #2: Wait, what are you guys talking about?
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Advisor on phone: Since I'm not there anymore, you need to let the whole office know about that little victory! If nothing else…just so that I can toot my horn through your mouth!
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: Band Nerd
Coworker on phone: Hello, is Anita Ho in?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Ladycop
Peon, to neighbor: At least I know how to spell it. I may not know how to spell totes, but I know how to spell that word.
Boss, interrupting: What do you know how to spell?
Peon: Vasectomy. V-a-s-e-c-t-o-m-y.
Boss: And in what context do you need to spell “vasectomy” in a work e-mail?
Peon: I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on with this dude, he's going to be on the phone a lot today.
Boss: Dude is getting a vasectomy?
Peon, pointing back and forth to her left and right boob: No, his grandma is.
Boss: Yeah, that's not a vasectomy.
Humble, Texas
