Or Smuggling a Turkey Out Of the A&P

Man to lady holding her stomach: Why are you walking like that?
Woman: This is how you're supposed to walk when you're pregnant.

Omaha, Nebraska

Posted on January 5, 2009
Health & Hygiene, Nebraska, Questions, Strangers

Barf Bags Are Provided in the Event of Their Ugliness

Passenger to another: Federal law requires that you must follow all instructions from uniformed crew. If a naked flight attendant approaches you, you don't have to listen to them.

Southwest Flight
Islip, New York

Posted on December 18, 2008
Advice, General Idiocy, New York, Strangers

Huggy Bear: Get Over Here, Baby!

Tall, muscled naval officer: Is there a prostitute service where you can just buy a hug?

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Kaiti

Posted on October 22, 2008
Arizona, Feelings, Questions, Sexuality, Strangers, The Military

The Photocopier Picked My Pocket

Session leader: Now at this point, if you've been convicted guilty of a felony crime, I'll have to ask you to leave.
(one woman starts to walk out of crowded auditorium, abruptly stops halfway)
Woman: Oh, wait! What is counterfeiting?
Session leader: Mam, were you guilty?
Woman: Yes. Oh, wait. No. The trial's still going on.

Mebane, North Carolina

Posted on September 18, 2008
Crimes, Meetings, North Carolina, Questions, Strangers

Sheer Force of Will

Geriatric waitress: Hi, how y’all doin’?
College guy: Great. You?
Geriatric waitress: Ehhh, I’m a little stoned. Gotta do something to put up with these drunk assholes and teenagers.
College guy: Sweet.
Geriatric waitress: You kids like Michael Jackson? Heard he was touring again.
College girl: Oh, yeah! I heard about that. I’m pretty stoked.
Geriatric waitress: Me, too! I loved his music. But geez, how can a gorgeous black man turn into an ugly and scary-lookin’ white girl?

Pancake place, Cherry Hill Road
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: High On Life