Manager; You don't stick your tongue on a 9-volt battery every day.
Boston, Massachusetts
Manager; You don't stick your tongue on a 9-volt battery every day.
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker at postage meter: Normally I'm anal and I look at 'em every time I stuff 'em… But not today.
Seattle, Washington
Secretary to cater-waiter carrying glassware: I can hear you tinkling!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
IT guy: You know why sardines are so good? Because their bones are young and soft.
Mesquite, Nevada
Coworker, discussing why he can't go to lunch: I would fart once in my room on Saturday, and it would totally blow my mind. Then it would proceed to blow everyone else's minds in every other room upstairs. Like, seriously, Joe* was like “did you drop a deuce?” and I was like “no.” Then I proceeded to fart exclusively in the bathroom for the rest of the weekend, and bring a pack of matches too.
Crozet, Virginia
Overheard by: Cube Monkey
Office girl: Smell your fingers.
Office guy: Ewww, what is that?
Office girl: Smells like petroleum jelly, right?
Office guy: Ugh!
Office girl: Toxic, right?!
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
New guy: It felt really weird when I put it in my mouth, and I don't know… I didn't like it.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The WC
Supervisor: I saw a unicorn just the other day!
Coworker #1: No, you did not. They're extinct.
Supervisor: What?
Coworker #2: What?
Coworker #1: They been extinct since Jesus's time!
Supervisor: You believe in mermaids?
Coworker #1: Well, duh, mermaids were around during Jesus too!
Coworker #2: Neither of those things exist.
Coworker #1: Ohmigod! Are you serious? But my mom told me when I was a kid!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Malikat
Coworker on phone: We had hot sweaty sex, but it was okay.
Lafayette, California
Boss on phone: Yeah, you know that thing you removed? Well it's growing back, and it's irritated.
Los Angeles, California
