Female employee: I'm going to wear a handlebar mustache. For that androgynous look.
City Centre
Bristol
England
Female employee: I'm going to wear a handlebar mustache. For that androgynous look.
City Centre
Bristol
England
Older Asian lady: Oh, you shaved your beard off!
IT guy: Yep!
Older Asian lady: Now I don't have to be afraid of you.
IT guy: What?
Older Asian lady: Every time I saw you with your beard, I was afraid you were going to mug me, but now you don't look like a mugger.
IT guy: Thanks… I think?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Amused at Asian ladies…
Male coworker: You just didn't want anyone to see how much of a slut you looked like.
Female coworker: That's not true. I did not look like a slut!
Male coworker: Oh that's right–you put underwear on.
Female coworker: Exactly!
Reno, Nevada
Short coworker: Man, I would give anything to be taller.
Tall coworker: I'd totally slip you a couple inches if I could.
(awkward silence)
Laramie, Wyoming
Overheard by: sarah
Female: Dude, did I tell you what happened the last time we ate here together?
Male little person: No, what?
Female: Sheila* saw us and said to me “Dude, I totally saw you eating lunch with a midget. What's up with that?”
Male little person: Ummmm, okay.
Female: But I said “Oh, I know I was totally with a midget, but he has the hugest cock ever. I've totally seen it.”
Male little person: Ummmm, okay. Thanks for the recommendation, I guess?
Female: She said she's going to call you.
Sacramento, California
White office girl #1, about racist Miley Cyrus picture: So, yeah, I actually found that photo way more offensive than the topless one in Vogue.
White office girl #2: But it wasn't racist. It was just a joke about how funny they look.
White office girl #1: Yeah, I see your point.
Adelaide Central Market
Australia
Working bee: But I'm cute and friendly and everyone should just love me! Damn it!
University of Illinois
Boss: It's about time! You're finally back, you know Kristen isn't here.
Employee wearing a heart monitor: Yeah, I know she's out sick.
Boss: Do you know how she's feeling? Will she be back tomorrow?
Employee wearing a heart monitor: No, but my doctor said I'm having heart problems.
Boss: Well, you look fine and you're here, so that's not a big deal.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Male coworker #1: I'm having trouble concentrating today.
Male coworker #2: That's because you can't stop looking at me.
Male coworker #1: Every time I look at you, my retinas vomit into my glasses.
Ballarat
Australia
Overheard by: vMan
Woman on cell: If you're going to get a vagina, you may as well get a nice one.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: fetishgirl
