Homeboy customer: Yo, gots any mothafuckin’ shelves?
Employee: Did he just say what I thought he said? [Coworker nods.]Homeboy customer: Yo, man! I said, I need some mothafuckin’ shelves fo’ my mothafuckin’ clothes!
Employee, pointing: Yeah, right down that mothafuckin’ aisle.
Home repair store
Whitehall, Pennsylvania
.Net developer, finishing a presentation: … And that’s my presentation on .Net custom controls. Any questions about the toggle reader or list controls?
Java developer, bursting at the seams: So it turns out my frat brothers inadvertently stole a human corpse!
Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania
Female supervisor: Ewww!
CCR: What?
Female supervisor: I was trying to find January, and I got ink all over me!
1 Ivybrook Boulevard
Ivyland, Pennsylvania
Supervisor: Did you find it yet?
Intern, looking on Internet: No, I’m still looking.
Supervisor: Did you Google it?
Intern: Yeah, couldn’t find it.
Supervisor, yelling: Well, then Google harder!
Overheard by: Rumpleforeskin
Owner, to worker bee: I was told it was a good idea, so I thought it was a good idea.
Music store
Western Pennsylvania
Overheard by: tyronepower
Employee #1: I’ve never worked in an office building where there are so many plants. It’s getting to look like a jungle in here.
Employee #2: I don’t care about how it looks. I’m just worried that these plants are going to use up all of our oxygen.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Hospital aide: Yeah, these pants come in ‘Large’ and ‘Holy shit, you’re fat’!
Hospital
Monroeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The other aide
Office chick #1: I’m scared of the men’s room. I think it’s the urinal…
Office chick #2: I’m scared of that little thing in the men’s room.
Office chick #1: What little thing?
Office chick #2: You know — that little wooden thing. It used to be in our bathroom… It looks like a little totem pole.
Newtown Square, Pennsylvania
Secretary: Does it involve undergarments? If so, I’m not there.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Engineer #1: So, what do you think?
Engineer #2: About what?
Engineer #1: I never knew that they made clip-on ties in such a variety of colors.
Tech lead, wearing bright purple, non-clip-on tie: Haha… Aye. Very funny.
Engineer #2: Yeah, I need to strap one on this weekend.
Cranberry, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Slappy
