Pennsylvania

CSR on phone: His name is Dan. That's “d” as in “dog,” “a” as in “apple,” “n” as in “India.”

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: bored receptionist

Office worker: I love throwing up! I'm dyslexic.

County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan

Principal over loud speaker: Attention, students, I repeat: the 400-level office is not an aquarium!

Montour High School Administration Building
McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: nemo

Co-worker on phone: I just called to see if you were still pregnant.

30 South 17th Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Trainer: Oh, you wanna click there? Well you can’t do that click until you’re done clicking the other clicks.
Employees: …

503 Martindale Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Female coworker #1: Did you know that eHarmony doesn't allow lesbians? It's run by Christians.
Female coworker #2: Well, no room at the inn! Sorry, Jesus!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Loud guy from corner cubicle: You will just never believe this, I am the heaviest I have been in my entire life. That's what working here for ten years will do to you.
Quiet woman who shares cubicle: Well, at least you know you won't blow away.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: not that heavy

Coworker on the phone: Once I stabbed myself in the leg with a knife, and my husband made me a BLT sandwich.

Butler, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Benjamin

Research supervisor on phone: So, question — monkeys. Apparently one got a rash during the drug trial, but no one noticed because she was really hairy. Yeah, really, really hairy. She’s a hairy monkey. What do you know about that?

West Point, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alison

Tech #1: Is that illegal?
Tech #2: No, but it's unethical.
Tech #1: Okay, then let's do it.

Butler, Pennsylvania