(coworker is walking down the corridor with 3-D glasses on)
Girl: That's a bit odd. Does he realize he's only going to see things in color, not in 3-D?
Guy: You didn't just say that.
Girl: What?
Guy: Well, how many dimensions do you think I am?
Girl: One.
Portland, Oregon
New client: Excuse me, but I think there's been a mistake. I don't need to see an attorney. I thought I made an appointment to meet with a legal aide… A legal… You know… What are they called?
Legal assistant: No, ma'am. Everyone meets with the attorney. They are the only ones qualified to give legal advice. Otherwise it's considered practicing law without a license.
New client: But I don't need legal advice, I just need someone to tell me what the law says!
Country Club Road
Eugene, Oregon
Coworker and mother of a two and a five-year-old : Oh wait! I gotta go. I have to pick my kids up from the jail!
N Willamette Street
Coburg, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad her husband is a sheriff
Jaded tech writer: I’m just enabling you, man. And for what? For Egg McMuffins, man.
Tigard, Oregon
Overheard by: Sasha
Woman worker: He said to me: “Has anyone ever told you you look like Ricky Schroeder?” I told him he was so rude, you don’t tell a girl she looks like a man. But you know what, I kinda see where he’s coming from.
Lake Oswego, Oregon
Receptionist to another: I said, ‘I don’t care that you care that I think you’re an asshole,’ but maybe I do.
Capitol Highway
Portland, Oregon
Worker bee #1: So, what do you think of my new car?
Worker bee #2: I think it looks like an un-circumcised dick.
Worker bee #1: Are you saying it’s a cock wagon?
Worker bee #2: Dude, you couldn’t pick up bitches in that.
Corvallis, Oregon
Overheard by: bystander
Grunt: Just stick the turkey baster in there and suck it all out!
320 SW Stark Street
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Julie
Lady peon, back from vacation: Yeah, so in Israel they have something called Shabbat every Friday. I think it’s a chicken dish.
2701 NW Vaughn Street
Portland, Oregon
Coworker, after snow predicted night before: So, I want to know what happened to the one to three inches I was promised.
Portland, Oregon
