Sales guy: My daughter had a book when she was little called Which Witch is Which.
Sales chick: … Huh?
Sales guy: She had a book called Which Witch is Which.
Sales chick: I thought that was one of your porn movies…
Sales guy: Well, it might be that, too. Porn and children’s books… I get them confused.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Bored secretary: Don't my nails look great? That stand in the mall polished them with dead sea scrolls!
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Hot lady peon, after spilling candy: I hope he doesn’t come by while I’m on the floor eating his jelly beans.
3900 Paramount Parkway
Morrisville, North Carolina
Overheard by: kevin
Boss: Yeah, I was at a funeral yesterday. My friend had a three-week-old pass away.
Coworker: Man, that's awful. What happened?
Boss: Well, it's kinda funny…
Raleigh, North Carolina
Kid holding toy: If I don’t get this, I’m going to die.
Dad: You’re not getting anything today!
Kid: Do you want me to die? You want me to die! You’re killing me! You’re killing me!
University Mall
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Co-worker: If you could un-fuck this situation, I’d appreciate it.
120 Morehead Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Guy #1: Can I look down your pile? The pile under your desk?
Guy #2: Uh…
Guy #1: Wow, that came out wrong.
120 Morehead Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Maintenance worker: I'd rather owe a dead man 30 dollars.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Manager to another: Actually, 'due diligence' is for the unsuccessful.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Female coworker, about male coworker: He let me spray him before!
Raleigh, North Carolina
