New York

Boss, holding meeting: So, you want to handle this thing?
Female employee: No.
Boss: What’s the matter? You can’t handle Harlem at night?
Female employee: No.
Boss: Faggot.
Queer employee: I’m surprised you used that word.
Boss: What? ‘Faggot’?
Queer employee: Yes.
Boss: Obviously I don’t think she’s gay. I said ‘faggot’ in the sense of, you know, a sissy. No guts.
Drama queen employee: Besides, you faggots call each other ‘faggot’ all the time. I know you do.
Queer employee: I guess.
Boss: Glad we settled that. [To female employee] Now… I expect you to take your sissy ass to Harlem and take care of this thing.

Law firm
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Co-worker #1: Ooh, that smells nice.
Co-worker #2: It’s salami. I got it in Czechoslovakia.
Co-worker #1: I didn’t know the Czechs were famous for salami.
Co-worker #2: They’re not. It’s Hungarian salami.

7520 Astoria Boulevard
Jackson Heights, New York

Associate: What’s up, Dave*? Did you get a promotion?
Managing director at secretary’s desk: No, I just hate the person I’ve become when I’m in my office.

452 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Radio: ‘So if your life has been touched by alcohol or substance abuse…’
Construction guy: That’s me!

125th Street and Lenox Avenue
New York, New York

Trader #1, wearing yarmulke: …and your business is in Brooklyn?
Trader #2: No, Brooklyn is where the yams hang out. You know, your people.

200 Vesey Street
New York, New York

Lawyer on phone: Homeless strippers?… Dude, you don’t want to hook up with a homeless stripper.

Empire State Building
New York, New York

Overheard by: temporary paralegal

Co-worker #1: Do you know any strippers?
Co-worker #2: Um…
Co-worker #1: No, I mean people who can strip paint.

640 Broadway
New York, NY

Boss: I’m just going to stop taking notes and just use yours after the meeting, because I have no idea what’s going on.

545 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York

Tech guy: You know, I was thinking the other day — you know how when these terrorists die, they think they’re getting, like, 40 virgins? Well, it occurred to me that the only virgins up there will be all these 80-something-year-old nuns…

Corporate Drive
Orangeburg, New York

Overheard by: amused temp

Boss, leaning over printer: I'm getting duplicates up the wa-doo-da!
Gay art director: I hate when that happens.

The Village
Manhattan, New York