Office guy: I was using the adjective, not the dwarf.
Manhattan, New York
Office guy: I was using the adjective, not the dwarf.
Manhattan, New York
Intern: My uterus is dry-heaving.
Supervisor: Wow.
242 West 38th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
Suit #1: All my clients complain that the questionnaire package we require is too onerous.
Suit #2: Really? I never get any complaint about ours.
Boss: Well, have you ever seen his package? Maybe you two should get together and compare packages.
245 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Manager: Everybody who was smoking pot in here last night is fired! … Okay, looks like I have a vacant building.
Schenectady, New York
Overheard by: fired
Salesperson to another: Wow! I like your new pants? (pause) Do they fit you?
Plattsburgh, New York
JP Morgan Office Manager: Do he know he have a meeting? Her said he have a meeting.
38 W. 75th Street
New York, NY
Project manager, regarding principal of firm: He has been driving around with his windshield wipers on because he can't figure out how to turn them off, do you really think he will understand this?
98th & Broadway
New York City, New York
Co-worker: Hey [Trish], can you come here a sec?
Office Manager: Yeah, where are you?
Co-worker: I’m in the closet.
155 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Teacher #1: What are they raising all this money for?
Teacher #2: For this lady in the cleaning crew. Apparently, her purse was stolen and she lost nine hundred bucks that she was planning to send home to her family in Mexico.
Teacher #1: Where’s my nine hundred bucks? Since I started working here, I lost everything.
444 Pleasantville Road
Briarcliff Manor, New York
Employee on phone with customer: I just need to do a couple of other things, cross my Xs and circle my Os. Then I can get back to you.
Staten Island, New York
Overheard by: That Staten Island Guy
