Lawyer on phone: You know Bob* in the development office, the bald guy with the peg leg? Man, I am always having these Freudian slips around him that are so inappropriate. Like one time, we were talking about girls and he came in and I asked “what about you, Bob, are you a leg man?”
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Boss on phone: What do you mean she's canceling the meeting? (pause) Delayed? Why? (pause) She has breast cancer? That's great! (pause) Oh no! I must have cut out, I said “that's a great tragedy.” (pause) Well, that must be awful. (pause) I see, well, send her my best. (pause) Thank you, bye now. (to entire office) Cancer just saved my ass! Who wants to go for drinks?
Chinatown
Manhattan, New York
Slacker dude boarding flight, to friend: I don't want to sit next to anyone I don't know.
MacArthur Airport
Islip, New York
Overheard by: Welcome to public transportation
Boss during meeting: As long as they can get sixty people there, we'll make it happen. If they want to see a monkey fucking a football, we'll make it happen.
Manhattan, New York
Irate cafeteria worker to 14-year-old daughter, over phone: I will fight you like I'd fight an enemy in the street.
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: emma pilsbury
Female coworker, about new computer program: At first I had a hate attack, but after a while I got the hang of it.
Male coworker: Sort of like anal.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: G Dorn
Manager of apartment complex: Does your husband have a crotch rocket?
Rochester, New York
Employee to intern: That'll back me up for a month! I don't want your chocolate.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Chocolateer
