Worker #1: We’re out of toilet paper.
Worker #2: The supply closet is empty.
Worker #1: I think they’re stuffing their vaginal canals with it to smuggle some home.
215 South Country Road
Bellport, New York
Worker #1: We’re out of toilet paper.
Worker #2: The supply closet is empty.
Worker #1: I think they’re stuffing their vaginal canals with it to smuggle some home.
215 South Country Road
Bellport, New York
Worker #1: You know how you have stamps that say “faxed?”
Worker #2: Yeah.
Worker #1: Do you have one that says “E-mailed?”
420 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker: I need to file like a mofo.
11 W. 53 Street
New York, NY
Editor #1: I don’t know why that French reporter couldn’t find a transgendered person. It’s not like transgendered people are a rare species that you can’t find anywhere.
Editor #2: Maybe she didn’t know where to look.
Editor #1: What do you mean, “where to look”? Transgendered people are everywhere.
487 Greenwich Street
New York, NY
Attorney: I’m not going to have a homosexual affair just to get some cases!
220 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: brokensiren
Boss: …in response to what you said–
Minion: What? I haven’t said anything.
Boss: Oh, sorry…I was having a conversation with you in my head.
16 E. 34th Street
New York, NY
Co-worker: Would you like to receive our free catalog in the mail?
Customer: No speak engliss.
Co-worker: Ha, ha. Oh, that sucks.
Customer: Si.
628 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Hannah Haddix
Female employee: I have to wear shoes with heels because it’s seen as “professional.”
Male employee: You may as well be wearing a burkha.
11 W. 53rd Street
New York, NY
Employee: I need to go to Accounting. What floor is that on?
Receptionist: It’s on two.
Employee: Is that up or down?
11 West 53 St
New York, NY
Customer: Well, maybe I could find something at a lower price that needs fixed up. I do a lot of remodeling work.
Real-estate agent: Sir, if you’re a carpenter you won’t be able to afford anything in this area.
Customer: I’m a contractor and I have more money than I know what to do with. If I say I’m going to climb into your ass and renovate, that’s what I’m going to do.
109 Lafayette Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Dirtpatch
