Old professor: My computer is so old! At least three people had it before me. Everything I write gets attributed to some secretary who left years ago. (pause) Maybe it's not a bad thing, considering the quality of what I write…
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: the IT guy
CSR, looking out of office window at noisy construction outside: Listen. It's the sound of machines becoming self-aware.
Manhattan, New York
Smoking peon: I was like any normal kid — give me a Butane Torch, and I’m gonna burn everything I can find.
22nd Street and 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Christina
Ghetto anthropologist: As far as I'm concerned, I only came out of one woman!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Right Place
Employee: Hey! I'm not stupid!
Supervisor: If you say so.
Syosset, New York
Coworker in cubicle: I don't think I'm nice, I'm just easy… Even after you say it out loud, I stand by it.
Syracuse, New York
Plaintiff: Yo, son, who is you to be judgin’ me?
Civil court judge: I am the judge. It’s my job to judge you.
Plaintiff: Whatever, yo.
Supreme Court
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: RP
Spot op #1: [Bill] tells good stories, he’s an excellent storyteller; me, I’m a stuttering prick when I tell a story.
Spot op #2: I tell stories, but they’re not very funny.
Spot op #1: Or interesting.
245 West 52nd Street
New York, NY
Overheard by:
Female account manager: So I'm going to lunch with a guy that does female Viagra…
Female marketing director: What do you mean he does female Viagra?
Quiet Office, 5th Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: i heard that!
Younger waitress: I'm over it now. It was just something that happened in my life.
Older waitress: A blip.
Younger waitress: A year-long blip.
Older waitress: That's a long blip!
Younger waitress: Oh, no. I had a three-year blip once. That's the blip I compare all the other blips to.
Rye, New York
Overheard by: Corinne
