IT worker: I might not know exactly how to do it, but if you want it pounded in quick and dirty, I am your man.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: ZPB
IT worker: I might not know exactly how to do it, but if you want it pounded in quick and dirty, I am your man.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: ZPB
Secretary: Couldn't you just drop a little acid and get the same effect?
Kansas City, Missouri
Cubicle dweller from first shift: Feel free to polish off my sausage.
Cubicle dweller from second shift: Uhh… Can you repeat that?
Shift lead: Dude, he has a plate of sausage and cheese with crackers. He's gonna leave it for your shift.
Cubicle dweller from second shift: Oh. Thanks, man.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Jerbz
Young hipster : You all should come to this CD release party! You too, Sue*, I'll even buy you a Shirley Temple!
Old fashioned, anal retentive co-worker: I don't drink.
Hipster: But it's non-alcoholic!
Old fashioned, anal retentive co-worker: I said I don't drink, I don't drink non-alcoholic!
Hipster, confused: But, uh… There's no alcohol in it.
Old fashioned, anal retentive co-worker, getting irate: I don't care! I won't drink it!
St. Louis, Missouri
Cubicle rat, in loud voice: Hey, where were you when I needed a knife? I had to use a key!
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: durp
Tester: Please read the top line please.
Young girl taking driving test: (mumbles first few letters together)
Tester: Please speak clearly.
Young girl: I can't read dem words.
Tester: What words?
Young girl: On the top row.
Tester: Honey, those are not words, they are random letters.
Young girl: Oh, really?
Missouri State Highway Patrol Testing Facility
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Ben
Data entry specialist #1: Why does Miley Cyrus repeat that lyric in her song? And a Jay-C song was on! And a Jay-C song was on!
Data entry specialist #2: “Jay-c”? Do you mean “Jay-Z”?
Data entry specialist #3: I think she needed to add thirty seconds to the song, so she just sang the same lyric over and over.
Data entry specialist #1: That's not a party in the USA! That's just bad song-writing.
Data entry specialist #2: It's brainwashing.
Receptionist: Wait, you all don't like Miley Cyrus?
St. Louis, Missouri
Workaholic, exiting a meeting: It's less about zombies than you'd think.
St. Louis, Missouri
Insurance claims adjuster: So have you recovered from the disaster last Friday night?
Homeowner: (inaudible)
Insurance claims adjuster: No, I was talking about the Ohio state game where they got whipped!
Earthy City, Missouri
Overheard by: Kevin
Secretary to two male managers, similarly dressed: I didn't get the memo. How do you guys find out what to wear each day?
Manager #1: We roll over and ask “what are you wearing today?”
Manager #2: Yeah, and… Ewww!
Kansas City, Missouri
