Minnesota

Girl, during meeting: Meeting adjourned!
Boss: Actually, that's at the end of the meeting.
Girl: Oh, I thought it was like “aloha.”

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: bryan b

Female coworker: So how's your wife?
Male coworker: Not good, actually.
Female coworker: Why, what's up?
Male coworker: Well, she's having pains…in her… Ummmm…baby area. Ummm…you know.

Brooklyn Center, Minnesota

Overheard by: adelhiede

Female coworker, amazed at spreadsheet: Wow, that's big!
Male coworker, matter-of-factly, with a sly smile: No, it's not that big. I've had bigger.

Minnetonka, Minnesota

Overheard by: I don't wanna know.

Legal consultant: What is the legal issue today?
Transferring girl: Well, this woman said she took her dead boyfriend's sperm in the hospital and now his mother wants it and said she'll be damned if she lets anyone have his baby. His mom also says she'll carry the baby herself if she has to to get a son.
Legal consultant (after pause): Okay, send her through.

Eden Prairie, Minnesota

Overheard by: Stan

Overly talkative manager: So, to lighten the mood a little on this call, what did you do on your day off yesterday, Steve? Did you get some mini-golf in?
Steve: I was at my uncle's funeral.

Minnesota

Overheard by: HungryHungryHippy

Coworker: Hey, what's that on your pants?
Pocket Hercules: Oh, this? It's just a little protein shake.
Coworker: What?
Pocket Hercules: Wait, that didn't sound right!

Bloomington, Minnesota

Cube dweller #1: Aw, man, you totally stole my favorite bowl! And I got that from the third floor kitchen and everything. Now I'll have to go all the way down there get a new one.
Cube dweller #2: Make sure there's enough room for your tears.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Male disability attorney, venting to paralegal: I just kept thinking. Seriously, how can you not get your paperwork done? You're disabled, what else do you have to do?

Twin Cities, Minnesota

Overheard by: Hillary E Us

Outdated salesmen: Why didn't you respond to my text?
Office lackey: I never received your text!
Outdated salesmen: From now on, when you don't get my text you have to call me and let me know.
Office lackey: (walks away mumbling)

Burnsville, Minnesota

Overheard by: Eric Bouchey

Customer (on speaker): But it's too expensive, it isn't fair! I can't afford it. Can't I just pay you half?
Insurance rep: No, the premium for your vehicle is $435.60. You have to pay the full amount.
Customer: Can you find a way so I can just pay $200? That's all I can afford!
Insurance rep: No. You can't just pay any amount you want. You need to pay what you owe.
(this goes on for 10 minutes)
Insurance rep: Well, fine, if you can't afford to pay the insurance for your car maybe you should sell it and take the damn bus.
Customer: What? What did you just say to me?
Insurance rep: I'll transfer you to my manager.

Minneapolis, Minnesota