Marketing guy: Why haven’t you kept me up to date on this account?
Ops guy: I’ve CC-ed you on every email I sent to them.
Marketing guy: I don’t have time to read my emails. There’s too much information in them. If you send me an important email give me a call to let me know I need to check it.
1700 Research Boulevard
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Septimus
American Coworker: Lets do Chinese!
Native Chinese Coworker: I know good p[l]ace!
American Coworker: Real Chinese food from real Chinese cooks?
Native Chinese Coworker: No, cooks all Puerto Rican.
11804 Cherry Grove Drive
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Customer on phone: Can you transfer me to the Electronic section?
Best Buy clerk: Uh, anyone in particular?
Customer on phone: Yes, Electronics.
Best Buy clerk: Sir, you do realize we are an electronic store, right?
Bowie, Maryland
Manager: I saw it happen when I was in Australia.
Engineer: To be perfectly honest with you, I’ve never studied the direction of water flow in my toilet.
The next 30 minutes were spent experimenting on various containers with holes.
6411 Ivy Lane
Greenbelt, Maryland
Coworker on cell when it starts ringing: Oh, crap. I think I just called myself.
Rockville, Maryland
Mall employee: Remember, it's only incriminating if it's recorded!
Waldorf, Maryland
Overheard by: Jenna
Mother on phone with family member: Look, you're going whether you want to or not. Just tell people it's a malignant.
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Female colleague: Just put it in my box, I'll take care of it later.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Jack
Boss: All of these folders need to be filed right away, but I can’t trust the desk guys to do it.
Tutor #1: Isn’t that their job?
Boss: Yes, but they need to be filed alphabetically, and they can’t do that.
Tutor #1: They can’t file alphabetically?
Boss: Apparently not. [Tutor #2] spent two hours yesterday trying to put everything back in order.
Tutor #2, breaking into laughter: Is that what you thought I was doing? Shit!
Boss: What were you doing, then?
Tutor #2: I dropped my ring in the drawer, and I had to take out all the folders to find it! It took forever, too.
Boss: Did you at least put them back alphabetically when you were done?
Tutor $2: Are you on crack? That’s the desk guy’s job!
101 Braddock Road
Frostburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Employee: How long do I have to work here before I receive health
insurance?
Boss: Oh…Um…We don’t do that here. I know some hospitals that
won’t report you to the credit bureaus, though.
1101 Robin Hill Lane
Bel Air, Maryland
