Manager: I saw it happen when I was in Australia.
Engineer: To be perfectly honest with you, I’ve never studied the direction of water flow in my toilet.
The next 30 minutes were spent experimenting on various containers with holes.
6411 Ivy Lane
Greenbelt, Maryland
Coworker on cell when it starts ringing: Oh, crap. I think I just called myself.
Rockville, Maryland
Mall employee: Remember, it's only incriminating if it's recorded!
Waldorf, Maryland
Overheard by: Jenna
Mother on phone with family member: Look, you're going whether you want to or not. Just tell people it's a malignant.
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Female colleague: Just put it in my box, I'll take care of it later.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Jack
Boss: All of these folders need to be filed right away, but I can’t trust the desk guys to do it.
Tutor #1: Isn’t that their job?
Boss: Yes, but they need to be filed alphabetically, and they can’t do that.
Tutor #1: They can’t file alphabetically?
Boss: Apparently not. [Tutor #2] spent two hours yesterday trying to put everything back in order.
Tutor #2, breaking into laughter: Is that what you thought I was doing? Shit!
Boss: What were you doing, then?
Tutor #2: I dropped my ring in the drawer, and I had to take out all the folders to find it! It took forever, too.
Boss: Did you at least put them back alphabetically when you were done?
Tutor $2: Are you on crack? That’s the desk guy’s job!
101 Braddock Road
Frostburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Employee: How long do I have to work here before I receive health
insurance?
Boss: Oh…Um…We don’t do that here. I know some hospitals that
won’t report you to the credit bureaus, though.
1101 Robin Hill Lane
Bel Air, Maryland
Coworker: There are people making out on the lawn! [Everyone rushes to window to look.]
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Thanking God I’m not white trash
Blonde: I’m queen of the Gentiles!
Owings Mills, Maryland
Professor: So we'll have lab meeting on Monday, then.
Grad student: Um, that's Labor Day, so people will probably be away.
Professor: Away? Why?
Grad student: Because it's a federal holiday?
Professor: Well, we're not federal, so we don't take federal holidays.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
