Secretary: This looks like a tiny dead bird.
Director: But it's not one, that's the important part.
University of Maine
Orono, Maine
Secretary: This looks like a tiny dead bird.
Director: But it's not one, that's the important part.
University of Maine
Orono, Maine
Manager: So there was this one time I spent $600 on snack foods.
Clerk #1: What?
Manager: Yeah, my friend and I went to the grocery store and bought a ton of food, but we also decided to bring along his cat in a backpack, and then we let him out in the store because we figured he was old and wouldn't escape…but he did. We lost him in the store, and then we left.
Clerk #2: You just left the cat behind?!
Manager: There's no stopping the Frito Bandito.
Maine Mall
Portland, Maine
Mom, pointing to friend’s child: Say ‘Hello’ to Aidan*.
Shy child hiding face in mom’s leg: ‘Lo.
Mom: If you can’t look at him and ‘Hello’ properly then you can’t have swimming lessons. There, I just saved a hundred and fifty dollars!
145 Harlow Street
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: Kelly
Programmer #1: Do you watch Maggie and the Ferocious Beast?
Programmer #2: [Silence.]Programmer #1: Well, Hamilton is the pig. I don’t know his last name, but he’s the pig in the show.
Programmer #2: [Silence.]
100 Larrabee Road
Westbrook, Maine
Supervisor: Did you answer my phone while I was gone?
Worker bee: It didn’t ring.
Supervisor: Well, did John call for me?
Worker bee: He didn’t call. Your phone didn’t ring.
Supervisor: But did you answer a call from John?
Worker bee: No, when your phone didn’t ring, I didn’t answer it, and when I didn’t answer it, John wasn’t the one that didn’t call.
75 Washington Avenue
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Guy on cell in building lobby: Yeah, I googled it, and you can buy straitjackets online.
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jennifer
Female coworker to male coworker: Do these pants make me look like I have a penis?
Lisbon Street
Lewiston, Maine
Receptionist #1: You know, I need a big, magic tool. One that doesn’t take batteries.
Receptionist #2: Hahaha!
Receptionist #1: For my pool! To clean my pool… Get your mind out of the gutter…
Receptionist #2: [Still snickering.]
State Street
Augusta, Maine
Overheard by: broken girl
VP Research: The client would like us to find a creative way to solve the problem.
Field Manager: I am tired of looking for the solution to this problem; let’s start looking for someone to blame instead…
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Man: So, I told my girlfriend that if I fuck a midget it is not considered cheating.
Coworker: What? Yes, it is!
Man: No, it isn’t. They aren’t real people.
Presque Isle, Maine
Overheard by: wtf kind of place is this?
