Woman: I heard that if a pregnant woman gets a flu shot, the baby has all sorts of birth defects, like 12 heads and two feet.
Municipal Building
New Jersey
Woman: I heard that if a pregnant woman gets a flu shot, the baby has all sorts of birth defects, like 12 heads and two feet.
Municipal Building
New Jersey
Employee: Sounds like your kid might need to get some professional help.
Boss: You know what I wanna do? Give that kid a fucking Valium and send him off to a wilderness camp!
Employee: Uh…
Florida
Co-Worker #1: …and who ordered the salad?
Co-Worker #2: Marie*, but she left for the day.
Co-Worker #1: Is she okay?
Co-Worker #2: I hope so. She was crying when she left. I guess the police called and said her 7-year-old daughter was a town over from where she was supposed to be, and no one knows where the sitter went.
Co-Worker #1: Oh, that’s awful. [long pause] So you think that means I can eat her salad?
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Kate
Woman peon: I think she’s okay. She got serviced…
11th Street NW
Washington, DC
Male employee: I had an uncomfortable experience with someone putting something in my butt.
Louisville, Kentucky
Co-worker #1: Does the administrator know that her hair looks like that? She looks like a mental patient!
Co-worker #2: Yes! She did that on purpose, I mean she used bobby pins and hair spray.
Co-worker #1: Everyone is laughing at her. Should we tell her?
Co-worker #2: Don’t you dare! This is the best day of my life!
1024 N. Foster Drive
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Suit: I don’t like movies with subtitles. You spend all your time reading instead of watching the movie.
Lady suit: Uh-huh.
Suit: Oh, I saw Wild Hogs this weekend. It was a hoot.
7 Hanover Square
New York, New York
Cube dweller: Did I ever tell you about my paranoia with wind instruments?
Spring Hill Road
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Cubie Cal
Boss: So, tell me about this guy we are doing business with today.
Assistant: Well, he is like [Adam], but with a bath and good shave.
Boss: Okay, good to know.
900 S. Shackleford Road
Little Rock, Arkansas
The day after the company picnic. . .
Female clerk #1: Was that the new guy playing volleyball? You know the one that keeps trying to adjust his hours.
Manager: Maybe he just needs to wear a jock strap all the time.
Female clerk #2: Adjust his hours! His schedule! Everything is code for crotch to you!
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
