California-Straight, Anyway

Interviewee: My current girlfriend used to be a lesbian, but she’s straight now.

209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California

Overheard by: Interviewer in another row

Posted on January 28, 2015
California, Dumb Employees, Gossip, Hiring & Firing

Which One You’d Be Friends with Says a Lot about Who You Are

Big boss at farewell party for employee: I stopped drinking soda a long time ago because I want to stop consuming all those fake sugars.
Young employee: I stopped buying soda along time ago, too, so I can have more money for alcohol.

Broadway and Wall Street
New York, New York

Posted on January 28, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Gossip, New York

Sounds Like Somebody Needs Half a Millipede

Coworker: This is one of the weirdest places I’ve ever worked. Ally’s* rummaging in the bin for half a millipede, Jane* has to pathologically lock everything, and I’m going psycho telling people I don’t need hugs.

Mallett Street
Sydney
Australia

Posted on January 27, 2015
Australia, Coworkers, Gossip

The Elderly Are Unpredictable

Administrative assistant/transporter: As long as she answers the door with clothes on, we'll be in good shape.

Tuolumne, California

Posted on January 22, 2015
Admins, California, Clothes, Gossip, Sexuality

“…and don’t expect a gift.”

Coworker on phone: Are you getting married?…Well, I heard you was gettin’ married…’Cause if you’re getting married, I need to know about it and I don’t want you to be my life insurance beneficiary anymore! I just want someone to feed my goddamn cats if something happens to me!

100 East Broad Street
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on January 22, 2015
Gossip, Ohio, On the phone

Dude, That’s a Cable Spool

Stoner: I don’t like tables, but that is one damn fine-looking table! I mean, when I have people over, and they’re looking for something to sit on, I give them a milk crate. Milk crates for everyone!

Philly AIDS Thrift, 514 Bainbridge Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Herbie McHebrew