Mom to daughter: All that matters is that the dog is dead.
Stop & Shop
Richmond, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Scratch
Mom to daughter: All that matters is that the dog is dead.
Stop & Shop
Richmond, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Scratch
Girl #1, after male coworker receives huge bouquet of flowers: You know, I wonder if he’s doing something to egg her on.
Girl #2: Nah, some girls are like that, you know? It’s called stalking.
Girl #1: You know, I knew a girl like that once. She had a glass eye.
5718 Westheimer Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: the things i hear around here
Programmer #1: I don’t think my brother has been out of jail for Christmas or his birthday for the last six years.
Programmer #2: Maybe you should get him a subscription to Playboy?
Programmer #1: I was thinking cigarettes.
Tech center
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: so glad I’m not related
Old Chinese tech: Hey, you know a' Tiger Woods?
Male phone tech: Yes! We dated! He said he loved me!
Old Chinese tech: You a'mysterious numbah fourteen!
Malvern, Pennsylvania
14-year-old girl: Hi, I need a 36 double-D bra with no underwire and no padding.
11-year-old brother: Yeah! No padding!
Redneck dad: Son… Are you fixin’ to buy one of them things for yourself?
Victoria’s Secret, Apple Blossom Mall
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Joanna
Accounting #1: I’m so excited! My boyfriend gets back today after being gone for five weeks!
Accounting #2: So what you’re telling me is that you’re gonna be late tomorrow because you’re gonna be up all night having sex.
Accounting #1: No, he’s more of a one-hit wonder. We’ll be asleep by 10.
1001 G Street NW
Washington, DC
CFO is spouting gossip at happy hour.
Copywriter: How many have you had?!
CFO: What, wives or martinis?
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Guy with wallet-chain and flannel shirt: The only difference between me and Kurt Cobain is I don’t have a heroin addiction. Or a shotgun.
3rd floor, Accenture building
Austin, Texas
CEO: [Frank] and [James] go way back. And when they start on a bid, [Frank] doesn’t shave. He grows a moustache, and when we get the deal the moustache comes off. So when I see it start coming back, I want it off. Either way, he’s still the ugliest bastard we have on the team.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Woman #1: I don’t want to show you guys my hairy back!
Woman #2, singing: Hairy baaack, hairy baaack!
Forbes Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
