Office girl on phone: Am I coming into you or are you coming into me?
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: John
Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category
That and the Tragic Banana Allergy
Coworker #1 to coworker #2, wearing a cast: What did you do to your hand?
Coworker #2: I broke my thumb.
Coworker #1: You need your thumb. That’s what makes you not a monkey!
Titusville, Florida
Overheard by: Hoss
You Have to Be Able to Engineer As Directed
Engineer: I have a college degree in engineering. I know about these things.
Line lead: Well, I’ve got a big dick… That doesn’t make me a porn star! [Engineer leaves.]
Boat factory
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: i dont want to see that movie
I’m Already Bottoming Out in My Career
Office monkey #1: Sometimes I think it’d just be easier to be gay.
Office monkey #2: Except for the butt sex.
Office monkey #1: …I could take it.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Only woman here…
Is This a New Trend We’re Missing?
Sales rep: I have been waiting for this woman to show up for so long that my clients are looking at me like I am a monkey humping a football.
Clearwater, Florida
And Milk Your Condition for All It’s Worth?
Coworker #1: Hey, dude, can you cover the office this evening? I have the runs.
Coworker #2: No, I think my daughter wants me to pick her up.
Coworker #1: Dang, man, I guess I’ll just eat some cheese.
Mayport, Florida
Overheard by: Bluevain Thunder
…That’s Almost a Good As Knowing an Idol Contestant!
Office lady #1: Did you hear? My buddy shot and killed someone Monday night.
Office lady #2: Uh, what?
Office lady #1: Yep, my buddy Tex! (scurries over to pick up newspaper to proudly show)
Office lady #2: Wow. That’s a bit strange.
Office lady #1: I know. Now I know someone that killed somebody!
Jacksonville, Florida
Where Lwhoreyers Come From: Explained
Female coworker #1: I’ve worked here six years and don’t really know you that well yet.
Female coworker #2: Ya know, I was the first one hired from off the street…
Cubicle dweller, mumbling under breath: That explains a lot!
Law Office
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Blonde at Heart
Now Have the Good Grace to Look Ashamed Of Yourself
Library clerk to hobo taking food out of food drive box: Hey, you can’t just take that!
Hobo: Yo, I’m just cutting out the middleman, brother.
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Ma’am This Is the New South
Old white lady: Excuse me, where do you keep your knickers?
White supervisor, nervously: What? I don’t have any…
Clothing store
Ocala, Florida
