Office lady #1: How do you feel?
Office lady #2: I've had this hard spot right here and then I have this really hard spot over here.
Office lady #1: No?
Office lady #2: And the really hard spot is moving towards my crotch!
Office lady #1: That sucks.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: DeeDee
Female CSR, holding potted plant: Jack*, can you feel this for me?
Male CSR, with back turned, joking: Sure, for $20!
Female CSR: Do you think it's moist enough?
Bedford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Pegmeister
Middle aged coworker #1: I'm not gonna cuddle with you, I just like the way it feels.
Middle aged coworker #2: I don't need any rumors to start about me… How about we just hug instead?
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Distracted
Student worker: Man, my mouth is really dry.
Secretary: Why?
Student worker: Because I just ate some raw nuts.
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Listening Secretary
Customer in line buying a pop: $5 for a pop? Are you serious?
Cashier, deadpan: I wish I was joking.
Customer: Fine, give me a Coke. (walks away) I feel like I've just been raped!
Molson Amphitheatre
Toronto
Canadia
Female CSR on phone to another: Hello, can I give you a tracking number? (pause) Please? I'll love you forever. (pause) Until I leave for the rodeo, and then I'll forget all about you.
Bloomington, Minnesota
Overheard by: glasses girl
Male cubicle rat to female receptionist: You've got to smell pretty to feel pretty.
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Lysa
Male suit #1: So, how's living at Gwen* going?
Male suit #2: You know, I love my sister. But I can't wait to have my own place again. I need to be king of my roast.
Ridgewood, New Jersey
Female coworker: Here. Put it in here.
Male coworker: It doesn't fit right.
Female coworker: Seriously? I think it was made for this.
Male coworker: No, really, it just doesn't feel right. I'll have to find another way.
Female coworker: Dude! Just stick it in and we'll sort it out later!
Baltimore, Maryland
PMSing office worker: I'm in such a bad mood. I'm bloated and eating everything in sight. It's like, “just bleed, dammit!”
Sympathetic coworker #1: I started this morning, so you should be okay soon.
Sympathetic coworker #2: I started yesterday.
Only male in the office: Fuck me.
Norman, Oklahoma
