Unlike Donald Trump, Whose Success Is Inversely Proportional to His.

Company president to communications VP, discussing radio interview: My whole performance level is based on my hair.

Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess

Posted on February 10, 2021
Body Parts, Executives, Nevada, Physical Appearance

But it Just Plays it on TV

Associate director, eating a hamburger: This is really good.
Executive director: Yeah, isn’t it? It’s their Angus burger. It’s like real meat.

Southern Oregon

Overheard by: research associate

Posted on December 3, 2020
Dumb Bosses, Executives, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Oregon

That Was MasterBeta Testing

Developer #1: We’ve never run the application in a clustered environment.
Developer #2: Yeah, but we’ve run it in a cluster-fucked environment.

Canal Park
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on November 12, 2020
Designers and Photographers, Executives, Massachusetts, Technology

When I’m Perfectly Willing to Do It for Free

Director of operations: I could get paid a lot of money to put a dildo in my ass, and then I’d be walking around with a dildo in my ass, but that would be lame too.

Elkton Road
Newark, Delaware

Posted on August 30, 2020
Body Parts, Default, Delaware, Executives, Money, Sexuality

3PM Smoke Break

Account Exec #1: Your hair looks short today. Did you wash it this morning?
Account Exec #2: Yeah, I contemplated not washing it, but I decided I should.
Account Exec #1: Friday isn’t a hair washing day.
Account Exec #2: Well, I didn’t wash it yesterday.
Account Exec #1: [Lucy] can go a couple of days without washing her hair.
Account Exec #2: A couple of days?
Account Exec #1: Well, it’s more or less a question of whether or not her scalp is sweaty and smelly.

171 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on August 7, 2020
Executives, Gossip, Health & Hygiene, New York, Physical Appearance, Sensory Experiences, Time Management

2PM Meeting to Find Our Motto

VP: We have to create the problem that the customer will want to solve.

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas

Posted on June 11, 2020
Executives, Philosophy, Texas

Dude, It’s Not for That

Account exec #1: So, are you still taking calcium?
Account exec #2: Yeah, and I’m still fucking crazy.

289 Pilot Road
Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on June 8, 2020
Executives, Health & Hygiene, Nevada

… Nor What State We Started In

VP on phone: Yeah, what’s wrong?
Niece on speaker phone: We’re lost. Can you pull up a map or something?
VP: Where are you and where are you going?
Niece: We’re going somewhere in Massachusetts, and we don’t know what state we’re in.

316 Warren Avenue
Front Royal, Virginia

Overheard by: not the dumbest anymore