HR: Okay [Jen], here is your six month review. You are doing excellent work, we couldn’t be happier, you adapt especially well to change and keep this office running like a tight ship. We have put you in for a substantial raise.
VP: We have come to the decision that we will be closing this office. Everyone’s last day of work will be December 31st–
HR: –and here are your severance packages.
238 Bedford Street
Lexington, Massachusetts
Assistant: They’ve already designed the corn maze for a Lewis & Clark theme.
Account executive: Why did they choose Superman?
Assistant: [Stumped silence.]
Thomas Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Pants
Exec: If we are going to succeed, we need strong leadership from everyone on the team.
50 Commerce Street
Trumbull, Connecticut
Overheard by: lowly
Executive: In ’06 we need to get more blood from the turnip.
2000 Plainfield Pike
Cranston, Rhode Island
CEO: So, how long will it take you to set that up?
System admin: Um…two minutes?
CEO: Five. You've got five. See, I doubled-and-a-halved it for you!
System admin, developer, designer: What?
State & Water
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
VP: I just completed sexual harassment training! Who’s gonna be my first victim?
Assistant: Me!
1 Glenlake Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia
Attorney: Maybe we’ll get lucky and there’ll be a murder.
County courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Executive: At the end of December she agreed to voluntarily quit. She really wants to go and do that bendy thing — you know, yoga.
Portrero Hill
San Francisco, California
Salesman, displaying new kind of cabinet: So, as you can see, it's very sturdy and designed to last.
Female CEO: I can see that… I like a good long screw
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: So do I
Director: So what city was Beverly Hills Cop set in?
444 North 44th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
