(at a three day workshop)
Suit #1: I don’t think I can sit through another afternoon of this.
Suit #2: It’s not as bad as yesterday. I’m finding it quite interesting.
Suit #1: That’s what you call Stockholm Syndrome, when you start to love your kidnapper.
Istanbul
Turkey
Salesperson: But yeah, I agree with you — you should really stop pissing on my shoes when we go to the toilet together.
Reihstrasse 28
Aachen, Germany
Overheard by: PW
Woman: My purse looks pregnant.
Zoetermeer
The Netherlands
Overheard by: Trying to work but laughin' my but of :P
Boss: In my opinion, which is 100% correct…
Prague
Czech Republic
Telephone sales rep at airline company: The flight leaves at 10:30.
… No, TEN THIRTY.
… No, TEN… THIRTY…
… It leaves at ten thirty, yeah.
… no… ten THIRTY…”
… at half past ten…”
… No. No. No… It leaves at TEN THIRTY!
… Half eleven, half past ten, ten THIRTY!
… Yes!
… Would you like to make a reservation?
… a reservation..?
… Would you like to reserve a seat?
[Long pause.]
… I have not made a reservation, would you like me to make one for you now?
… At the TEN THIRTY flight?
… Yeah, TEN THIRTY…
… No, you have NO RESERVATION!
… DO. YOU. WISH. TO. MAKE. A. RESERVATION?
… No, you have no reservation.
… You have NO RESERVATION!!!
… SHALL I RESERVE A SEAT?
… THERE IS NO RESERVATION MADE!
[Finally caves]
Have a nice flight, madam… Yes, ten thirty. Bye.
The Arken-building
Oernskoeldsvik, Sweden
Peon #1: Okay, ‘MDB’ is the code we use to get Bob’s attention.
Peon #2: Great, now we just need to hire someone named Bob.
Copenhagen
Denmark
Overheard by: Dave
Young secretary #1: I don't understand why men are all interested in cougars now.
Young male employee: Mmmmm… cougars.
Young secretary #2: There's a Greek quote that says the older chicken is juicier.
Young secretary #1: Yeah… But isn't it harder to chew?
Lausanne
Switzerland
Overheard by: You lost me at juicier.
Guy #1: Have you ever been caught masturbating in the bathroom?
Guy #2: What?! No, of course not!
Guy #1: Oh, okay… Good spot, ain’t it?
Antwerp
Belgium
Overheard by: meneither
Coworker #1: There are bugs living in my computer screen. I can see them move when I type.
Coworker #2: You should vacuum them out.
Coworker #3: No! Keep them! I find them extremely interesting.
Coworker #1, pensive: Maybe, if I click them really really hard, they'll go away.
K.U.Leuven
Belgium
Senior professor: So, Vladimir*, when will this project be finished?
PhD student: Time is a… dynamic thing!
University of Leuven
Belgium
