Phone rep: If I were my eyebrows where would I be?
915 Broadway
New York, New York
Phone rep: If I were my eyebrows where would I be?
915 Broadway
New York, New York
Worker #1: Is the city of Singapore in China?
Worker #2: No, it’s in Singapore.
Worker #1: No, I meant where is Singapore?! Is it in China?!
Worker #2: Singapore is a city and a country.
Worker #1, after a long pause: Oh. So… where is Singapore, then?
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Girl on phone: I’ve been doing kegels for a week and I haven’t pooped. I think I’m doing something wrong.
In front of Hart Senate Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Neena
Employee, after hanging up with client: That was the most stupidest person I have ever spoke to.
44th Street and Camelback Road
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Grammatically Offended Boss
Host: Well, I think that’s going to be September 11th. Check the calendar.
Computer tech: September 11th? Isn’t that something important? Oh, that’s Labor Day, right?
Host: 9-11.
Computer tech, looking clueless: Ohhh. Well, okay.
421 NW Riverside Drive
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: Amanda
Manager: We’re going to have to let you go.
Employee: I didn’t do nothin’!
Manager: I personally caught you defecating into the employee bathroom sink.
Employee: The toilet was filthy!
95 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Bimbette #1: I burned my ear this morning.
Bimbette #2: Oh, on your curling iron?
Bimbette #1: No, with the coffee.
2402 West Beardsley Road
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: InvertedSpear
Voice on PA: Attention, everyone. I just found mouse droppings in the coffee grounds in the big kitchen.
Virginia
Employee #1 calling from adjacent building: Hey, you guys are using the wrong kind of paper in the fax machine.
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: You’re using the wrong paper in the fax machine. Our faxes are coming out all smeary over here.
Employee #2: Oh, okay. Sorry.
Kramer Drive
Gibsonia, Pennsylvania
Employee #1: I always thought it was pronounced “fass-mile”. What is it?
Employee #2: Facsimile. It’s a fax.
Employee #1: Oh, I’ve never heard it called that before.
50 Oak Court
Danville, California
