Lady peon: I can’t believe I wrote ‘Happy Birthday’ on that card.
Coworker: You did? Did anyone fix it?
Lady peon: They’re always passing around cards! How am I supposed to know it’s a sympathy card?! Then I go asking when we’re going to have cake!
Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Customer: What is the Happy Meal toy for boys this week?
Employee: Oh, no ma’am, we don’t have boy or girl toys this week — they are bisexual.
Customer: What?!
McDonald’s
Santa Monica, California
History major associate: That little dude is such a jerk! He’s got a major Napoleon complex going on.
Blonde assistant manager: Really? But he doesn’t have a big nose or curly hair or glasses…
History major associate: What? Not Napoleon Dynamite! Napoleon Bonaparte!
Blonde assistant manager: Oh. I don’t know then, I don’t watch the news.
Overpriced soap store
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: she’s our assistant manager
Employee #1: Where’s she going, Georgia or Atlanta?
Employee #2: Atlanta. Well, a suburb of Atlanta
Employee #1: Wait, why she said she’s going to Georgia?
Employee #2: She’s going to Atlanta.
Employee #1: What’s that, like the capital? I thought Georgia was the
capital?
Employee #2: No, Atlanta, it’s like New York City
Employee #1: I always get those two confused.
Employee #2: She’s going to Atlanta. Hotlanta. Well, Decatur. It’s a
suburb.
Employee #1: So why did she say she was going to Georgia?
636 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Dan Alcalde
Asian girl: I only know his size in millimeters -it’s 245.
Shoe store clerk: I won’t be able to help you, we only have American sizes and centipedes.
Asian girl: Ok, Einstein. Give me a 24.5 centipede.
Potomac Mills
Woodbridge, Virginia
Overheard by: Steve
Buyer: Let me give you my e-mail address and you can forward me the information.
Vendor: Okay, give it to me.
Buyer: B-h-a-l-p-I-n…
Vendor: Okay, I'ma send that to you.
Buyer: Um, sir, I need to give you the rest of my e-mail address.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Bonnie
Coworker #1: I heard Sophia Loren was ill.
Coworker #2: Is that Ralph Lauren’s wife?
48th street
Pompano Beach, Florida
Phone rep: If I were my eyebrows where would I be?
915 Broadway
New York, New York
Worker #1: Is the city of Singapore in China?
Worker #2: No, it’s in Singapore.
Worker #1: No, I meant where is Singapore?! Is it in China?!
Worker #2: Singapore is a city and a country.
Worker #1, after a long pause: Oh. So… where is Singapore, then?
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Girl on phone: I’ve been doing kegels for a week and I haven’t pooped. I think I’m doing something wrong.
In front of Hart Senate Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Neena
