Coworker to customer: That’s what nipple rings are for.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Coworker to customer: That’s what nipple rings are for.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Male employee: I had an uncomfortable experience with someone putting something in my butt.
Louisville, Kentucky
Drone #1: I am trying really hard to stay away from these cookies on my desk.
Drone #2: Oh my God, tell me about it. Those cookies are GOOD.
Drone #1: Maybe if I look at how many calories they have, it’ll be easier to stay away. One cookie, 120 calories.
Drone #3: Well, how many calories are you supposed to have?
Drone #1: I don’t know. I think 2000 calories is supposed to be average.
Drone #3: And the cookies are 120? Then you can eat all you want!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Cleanup worker: How many days have I been to work on time?
Supervisor: 136 days straight.
Cleanup worker: Gosh, I’m halfway to breaking my old record of 189.
613 Harrison Avenue
Panama City, Florida
Coworker: Hey, I may be dumb but I’m not stupid!
1400 AF Street
Washington, DC
Cube rat #1 reading email: Is… Jason Smith* kin to Jason Ellis*?
Cube rat #2, in coddling tone: [Sigh] Just because their first names are the same doesn’t mean they are related.
Cube rat #1: Oh, okay.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Office girl: I’m on heat… Fire! Fire — I meant ‘fire’! Shut up.
London
England
Man: Well, once you shoot yourself in the foot with a nail gun, you’ll know you should never point it at anything.
Software company
Birmingham, Alabama
Woman from regulatory department: Herman's Hermits? Aren't they the ones that sang “Hey hey, we're The Monkees”?
Winona, Minnesota
Perky blonde stylist, describing product to client: It's like a liquid form of moisture…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: irresolute.tumblr
