Boss: He can work the balls so nicely. In both directions.
Baltimore, Maryland
Boss: He can work the balls so nicely. In both directions.
Baltimore, Maryland
Telephone sales rep at airline company: The flight leaves at 10:30.
… No, TEN THIRTY.
… No, TEN… THIRTY…
… It leaves at ten thirty, yeah.
… no… ten THIRTY…”
… at half past ten…”
… No. No. No… It leaves at TEN THIRTY!
… Half eleven, half past ten, ten THIRTY!
… Yes!
… Would you like to make a reservation?
… a reservation..?
… Would you like to reserve a seat?
[Long pause.]
… I have not made a reservation, would you like me to make one for you now?
… At the TEN THIRTY flight?
… Yeah, TEN THIRTY…
… No, you have NO RESERVATION!
… DO. YOU. WISH. TO. MAKE. A. RESERVATION?
… No, you have no reservation.
… You have NO RESERVATION!!!
… SHALL I RESERVE A SEAT?
… THERE IS NO RESERVATION MADE!
[Finally caves]
Have a nice flight, madam… Yes, ten thirty. Bye.
The Arken-building
Oernskoeldsvik, Sweden
24-year-old hotel suit: Excuse me, sir, can I help you find something?
Meeting attendee, wandering around: Yes! Where is room TBD?!
Fancy hotel
Rosemont, Illinois
Overheard by: Jaw dropping in disbelief
Drunk chick: Hey, bartender! Did anyone ever tell you you look like Luke from Gilmore Girls?
Bartender: No. What’s Gilmore Girls?
Drunk chick: It’s a show on TV. You should look it up. [To guy standing next to her] Hey, you look like this guy in this porn I have!
Dickson Street
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: laughing into my beer
Customer: You know we try to idiot-proof everything around here, but God keeps making smarter idiots.
500 Hertzog Boulevard
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Teller at post office: What's your box number?
Customer: “O” as in “honest.”
Manhattan, New York
Jock #1: Need me some Steinbeck. You read Grapes of Wrath yet?
Jock #2: No.
Jock #1: Makes East of Eden look like trash! It’s hardcore.
Jock #3: Whoa! Cannery Row!
All three: Awesome.
Barnes & Noble
Southlake, Texas
Overheard by: They can read?
Waitress: Can I help you, ma’am?
Middle-aged woman: You shouldn’t call women ‘ma’am.’
Waitress: Oh… Why not?
Middle-aged woman: Because ‘ma’am’ is short for ‘madame,’ which is a name for a woman who owns a brothel. Do you know what a brothel is?
Waitress: Ah, yes.
Middle-aged: Good. Besides, for young women you should call them ‘miss.’
Waitress: Okay, can I help you, miss?
Middle-aged woman: Don’t call me ‘miss.’
Candlewood Chinese
Western Australia
Shipping customer: When does UPS come to pick up?
Owner: He's due around five, and he has not been here yet. Your package will go out today.
Shipping customer: He's due at five? Will it go out today? Did he come yet?
Riverside Parkway
Lawrenceville, Georgia
Overheard by: Jami
Woman on phone: I got a letter from the insurance agency. What should I do?
Lawyer: What does the letter say?
Woman: Aren't you a lawyer?
Lawyer: Yes, but I need to see what the letter says.
Woman: You're e a lawyer. You should know these things.
Lawyer: Without reading it, I don't know.
Boston, Massachusetts
