Customer service: Is your desktop on the screen of your laptop?
Customer: Yes.
Customer service: Okay, go ahead and close all windows.
Customer: My apartment does not have any windows.
245 Crossroads Parkway
Bolingbrook, Illinois
Customer service: Is your desktop on the screen of your laptop?
Customer: Yes.
Customer service: Okay, go ahead and close all windows.
Customer: My apartment does not have any windows.
245 Crossroads Parkway
Bolingbrook, Illinois
35-year-old man at post office: I'd like to buy some stamps, please.
Postal employee: Here you go. (hands him generic stamps)
35-year-old man: Do you have any stamps that are a bit… cooler?
Postal employee: What did you have in mind?
35-year-old man: I don't know… Ninjas?
Post Office
California
Overheard by: Jamie
Clumsy guy: Hey, man, I need one of those banger things and some pointy shits.
Employee: Please tell me you don’t mean a hammer and nails…
Clumsy guy: That’s what it’s called… Hammer… Yes.
Home Depot
Brook Park, Ohio
Overheard by: Telka
Girl #1: There is so much secondhand smoke here that it’s going to kill us eventually.
Girl #2: That’s for sure!
Girl #1: It’s okay, though. I have life insurance.
Local bar
Burlington, North Carolina
Overheard by: Bartender Snickering Nearby
Old man: Excuse me.
CD store employee: Yes.
Old man: Where do you keep your Negro music?
CD store employee: What?
Old man: Your Negro music!
Grandson: He means rap music.
CD store employee: Oh, over there.
1st Avenue North
Seattle, Washington
Receptionist: I was just going to put this in the mail for you today but since you’re here I’ll just give it to you.
Customer: Do you want me to mail it?
Rayen Avenue
Youngstown, Ohio
Customer: I need to talk to a manager about just erasing all of my late fees. Because, um, I’m never going to be able to pay those off.
Hollywood Video, Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: queenofsarab
Customer on speakerphone about SUN Microsystems software: … And powered by the sun, eh? [Pause] Oh, wait, but I don’t have much daylight in my apartment…
7795 West Flagler Street
Miami, Florida
Customer: Umm… Excuse me, do you have that book?
Bookstore employee: Do you know the title?
Customer: No.
Bookstore employee: Do you know the author?
Customer: Uh… No, but they wrote that other book.
Bookstore employee: Do you know where the other book is in the shop?
Customer, brightly: Yeah! It's over there somewhere! (points behind himself to the entire shop)
Darwin
Australia
Nurse to patient after pregnancy test: Congratulations on your new arrival. Are you excited?
Patient: Yeah. I’m just in shock. I mean, I can’t believe my sister is going to be an aunt!
616 Court Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Vicky
