Boss: I would totally be in a movie about farting!
Lincoln Park
Chicago, Illinois
Boss: I would totally be in a movie about farting!
Lincoln Park
Chicago, Illinois
Manager: They really need to pay this month’s rent ’cause I lost their money order last month and that makes them 2 months behind.
108 North Belvedere Boulevard
Memphis, Tennessee
Boss: …and I need a costume. I need to go dressed like a king and then I am going to a concert afterwards. I can go as any old king, Old King Cole, Nat King Cole…that would be great! I just have to have enough time to get the make-up on my face.
444 Park Ave South
New York, NY
Employee #1: Do we have any Band-Aids in the back?
Manager, after long pause: Uh…I don’t think so.
Employee #2: Oh, Susan* said we did. I need one.
Manager: Um…I’m pretty sure we don’t, but I’ll look.
After disappearing in the back for 5 minutes, manager comes back out to the register.
Employee #1: So there were none back there?
Manager: Nope.
Employee #2: I’m sure there are some. Not even in the first aid kit?
Manager, after another long pause: Oooh! Band-Aids! I thought you said, “Mayonnaise”!
Victoria’s Secret
New Mexico
Trainer: ‘Charismatic.’ That’s onomatopoeic.
Employee: What?
Trainer: Onomatopoeic. Like, when I say ‘chocolate,’ you can hear it.
Fenkle Street
Newcastle
England
Overheard by: Kaethe
Employee #1: It’s them damn environmentalists that make the gas prices so high.
Employee #2: Yeah, those morons won’t let us drill for oil anywhere. They’re what’s wrong with this country.
Employee #1: Yeah, them and the French.
North 6th Street
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Environmentalist
Boss on phone: I couldn’t find anything wrong with it, they did a great job. I mean, to be honest, I never looked at it, but I’m sure they did a great job. It looks good.
703 McKinney Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Supervisor surfing the net for “news”: Look! A cyclops baby was born in India! This is what happens when I don’t keep up with current events.
666 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Boss: Where are the nipples?
Lab employee: Nipples?
Boss: Yah, the nipples. You know, squeezie squeezie?
Lab employee: Do you mean pipette bulbs?
Boss: Whatever.
6275 Nancy Ridge Drive
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Meghan Lake
Manager: We’re hiring another producer in Quebec. And one thing that I think we all agree on is that his English has to be very, very well.
180 Varick Street
New York, New York
