Corporate boss on phone: Do you know where I am? Do you know where I am? I’m on Roosevelt-fucking-Island… Roosevelt-fucking-Island! In a fucking trailer! This is my life, okay? I was nauseous this morning ’cause I’m a schmuck. I’m on Roosevelt-fucking-Island… So tell me, does it get any worse?
Roosevelt Island, New York
Overheard by: Officetemp
Manager: Where is the post office? Who even goes to the post office? That’s just stupid!
Canal Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Boss: You know those people from Saudi Arabia?
Assistant: Yes.
Boss: Are they Iranians?
Franklin Avenue
New York, New York
Supervisor on phone: …I dunno where. You like Korean food? Of course you do, you’re one of them.
6101 Wetzel Avenue
Fort Carson, Colorado
Boss: The thought of it makes me want to throw up, so I thought I’d give it to you.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Gee, Thanks
Associate: It's my birthday today!
Receptionist: Oh, it's my little sister's birthday too, she's turning one.
Associate: Oh, that's cute. Is she your mum's first child?
Sydney
Australia
Supervisor: I’m like the voice of truth. I’m the Superman of words.
8141 Riverside Avenue, Suite 7
Riverside, California
Overheard by: sylvie
Preacher: What’s that beeping sound?
Secretary: It’s the battery getting low on the smoke detector.
Preacher: Well you don’t need that if you would quit smoking, do
you?
801 7th Street South
Clanton, Alabama
Peon, with Asian friend: Boss, I’d like to introduce you to my friend from Charlotte, Amy*. She’s stayin’ out here with me for a few days, then heading back home.
Boss: Nice to meet you! Where are you from?
Amy: Charlotte, North Carolina.
Boss: How long have you lived there?
Amy: I was born there — 25 years now.
Boss: Wow! How do you like it?
Amy: Like what?
Boss: America!
Amy: I, uh… I like it?
Boss: Do you think you’ll ever go back?
Amy: Yeah, I leave Sunday.
Boss: Wow! Well, I hope you enjoyed your American vacation!
Office party
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jesse
Boss #1: Most of our people in philanthropy are on coke… They get the work done, but the meetings are like coke conventions.
Boss #2: I had an ex-girlfriend who was always on a lot of coke. I didn’t know it, though. I thought she just had a lot of energy. Once, when she was really high, I had to throw her against a wall to snap her out of it.
Boss #1: Well, that’s what you have to do sometimes.
Miami, Florida
