Manager: She’s actually very bright, she just doesn’t speak or write.
200 West Oak
Fort Collins, Colorado
Manager: She’s actually very bright, she just doesn’t speak or write.
200 West Oak
Fort Collins, Colorado
Worker: Here’s the envelope.
Boss: Did you know that the envelope is in the cantaloope family?
Worker: …
4400 Massachusetts Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Boss: I have no idea what goes on, and that’s the way I like it!
Balltown Road
Schenectady, New York
Company owner: Okay, so I haven’t heard a real definition of ‘bad touch’ yet…
111 Oak Street
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Boss: Do you know where the gigabytes are? I need some more for my computer.
Employee #1: What are you talking about?
Boss: Are they in the closet?
He goes looking in the closet for about five minutes.
Boss: Seriously, do you know where more gigabytes are?
Employee #2: Maybe they’re in your pants.
N59W14909 Bobolink Avenue
Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin
Overheard by: LeeAnn Michaud
Assistant manager, about e-mail to customer: Wow, that was so much bullshit I didn’t even know when to stop!
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Boss: Do you have five minutes so I can talk to you for a sec?
Orlando, Florida
Art director: Is it wrong that I saw something on the news about a triple homicide in Koreatown, now I’m craving Chinese food?
Los Angeles, California
Boss: Can you help me with this Word document? I want to change it so that the layout is horizontal instead of vertical.
Secretary: Okay, go into File, then Page Setup.
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: You see where it says “Page Source”?
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: Okay. Now you see where it says “Orientation”? Make your choice.
Boss: Gay or straight?
525 Collins Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Captain Pants
Manager, just after he finishes dialing phone: I’m calling ol’ big tits.
Female voice: Uh, hello?
Manager: Oh… Hi. Who is this?
Female voice, angrily: This is ‘big tits,’ apparently.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
