And Your Porridge Is Too Hot, If You Catch My Drift

Student: This question doesn't make sense.
Professor: What do you expect? I'm not Goldilocks.
Every single student: What?
Professor: What? You're Goldilocks! You all are Goldilocks.

University of Akron, Ohio

Overheard by: All Three Bears

Posted on October 19, 2020
Default, Education, Ohio, Questions, Students, Teachers

Not What I Look for in a Pet Turtle, But No Matter

Punk chick on her cell: Which one did you pick? Oh, the one that can fuck?

Ralph’s
Los Angeles, California

Posted on October 11, 2020
California, Default, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

Superheroes Can Be Terrible Coworkers

Coworker to office: Ahhhh! I'm burning all of your eyeballs!

Warren, Michigan

Posted on October 6, 2020
Default

…Ask Anyone I've Ever Slept With

Lesbian customer service rep: Hey, how does Smith* want to get paid?
Straight female sales rep: I don't know.
Lesbian customer service rep: He's your client!
Straight female sales rep: So?
Lesbian customer service rep: So that's your job!
Straight female sales rep: Fuck you!
Lesbian customer service rep: Promises, promises…
Straight female sales rep: That's not a promise, that's a threat.

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Posted on September 28, 2020
Default

Consider an Infusion of Cash

Distracted CSR: Thank you for calling, my name is Aaron*, how can you help us today?

Airport Road
Scottsbluff, Nebraska

Overheard by: snorting coffee

Posted on September 24, 2020
Customer Service, Customer Support, Default, Nebraska, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions

Upside to Immigration ‘Wall’: It’ll Put an End to Conversations Like This

Office troll #1: Gosh, there were a bunch of Mexicans at lunch today. Where do you think they all came from?
Office troll #2: Mexico.

Dallas, Texas

Posted on September 22, 2020
Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Questions, Texas

Let’s Eat Our Ramen Dinners Together Tonight

Recent male college grad: So I just quit my job…
Recent female college grad: Oh my god, that’s awesome!
Recent male college grad: I love our age group- everyone’s excited and envious of me -and not appalled…

San Francisco, Califronia

Overheard by: Still Employed… Unfortunately