Customer: Why are you billing me for this stuff?
CSR: Did you make the purchases on your credit card statement?
Customer: Yes, but I already paid for them. I used my credit card.
CSR: Yes, but now you have to pay your credit card bill.
Customer: That’s stupid. Why would I pay for something twice?
4325 17th Avenue S.
Fargo, North Dakota
Distracted CSR: Thank you for calling, my name is Aaron*, how can you help us today?
Airport Road
Scottsbluff, Nebraska
Overheard by: snorting coffee
Peon #1: What are you looking for?
Peon #2: A thesaurus.
Peon #1: Is that by Dan Brown?
Manhattan, New York
Waiter: Señorita, would you like something to drink?
Guest: Si, a mojito, please.
Waiter: Muy bien. And señora — if you need anything else, do not hesitate to ask me. I am your master. I mean, you are my master. No… Uh… I am here to serve you.
Hotel bar
San Jose
Costa Rica
Overheard by: Pura Vida
Bus driver: Your bus pass isn’t working.
Passenger: Sorry, man, it should. I just got it yesterday… It’s new.
Bus driver: It’s just not working… Just come on anyway. I love you, man.
Passenger: Thanks, bro. I love you, too.
Downtown bus terminal
New York, New York
CSR: Stan* filled my pipeline with so much hardware it made my whole third quarter.
Hilton Head, South Carolina
Customer Service Specialist on phone: No, sir. You just had a credit line increase yesterday…Well, sir. That’s how the potato chips.
Customer Service Specialist: …Damn towelhead.
14700 Citicorp Drive
Hagerstown, Maryland
CSR: Nancy had, like, a nervous breakdown after a phone call that lasted an hour and a half. I felt bad for her, but it was also kinda cool. It was like watching glass shatter.
Newton, Massachusetts
CSR on phone: Let me spell that for you, that name is McKeon: “m” as in “m”, “c” as in “c”, “k” as in “k”, “e” as in “e”, “o” as in “o”, “n” as in “n”.
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Customer: So I just bought a DVD/VCR player here and I put it in my boyfriend’s car but it wasn’t really my boyfriend’s car because that car that I put the player in is gone now and my boyfriend’s car is still here.
Pause
Customer: Is there a form or something that I can fill out?
400 North Alafaya Trail
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: KTB
