Coworkers

Suit #1: He was an okay analyst and he knew a lot about the markets, but–
Suit #2, interrupting: –So what was the problem?
Suit #1: Well, he was from the South so he couldn’t write very well.

110 Wall Street
New York, New York

Cube girl on phone: And I’m having a really bad day. I just licked an interoffice envelope.

New York, New York

Coworker #1: I don't want Grant to see my notes.
Coworker #2: You did say “notes,” right? Not “nuts”?

Jenkintown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: It was a universal sentiment.

A co-worker steps out of the elevator into the reception lobby.

Co-worker #1: Ew, it smells like a nursing home in here.

5 minutes pass.

Co-worker #2: Mmm, it smells good in here.

55 Southbank Boulevard
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia

Overheard by: Emily Hopkins

Co-worker #1: “Telephony”? Really? That’s a word?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I know. I hate when words that usually end in “e” suddenly end in “y.” It’s like finding yourself in a world with neither floor nor ceiling.
Co-worker #1: …You’re freakin’ nuts, dude.

105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Dani

Coworker standing on table: I feel like I'm dead and I'm watching over you.

Orlando, Florida

Coworker #1: This weekend I was Wiiing for Jesus.
Coworker #2: What the hell? You took a piss for God?
Coworker #1: No, you moron — Nintendo Wii. I played at my church’s youth group fair… You are one sick bitch.

Binghamton University
New York, New York

Overheard by: Cube Farmer

Coworker #1: Your outgoing message sounds like a whispering Barry White.
Coworker #2: Well, you know…there are a lot of fruities out there and I got to keep them away.

Dallas, Texas

Lady on phone: Girrrl, you done sound like an apple pie that’s been baked!

Evanston, Wyoming

CCA #1: The client says his squirrel machine’s broken. What the hell is a squirrel machine?
CCA #2: One of those things with the wheel, where the squirrels run around?
CCA #1: I don’t think we provide those.
CCA #2: What’s the problem?
CCA #1: He says it’s broken.
CCA #2: Is he feeding it enough?

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia