Man: I talked to John. He said he and Michelle got divorced less than a year after they were married. I really didn’t like her anyway. She was really bullheaded.
Woman: Oh. That’s too bad.
Man: Yeah, they just got divorced, but he’s doing well. He just adopted a seventeen-year-old girl. It’s helping to distract him.
Woman: Huh?
University of Oregon
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: Reed
Spot op #1: [Bill] tells good stories, he’s an excellent storyteller; me, I’m a stuttering prick when I tell a story.
Spot op #2: I tell stories, but they’re not very funny.
Spot op #1: Or interesting.
245 West 52nd Street
New York, NY
Overheard by:
Worker bee: I’ve got a carton of condoms. Do you think that will be enough?
Perth
Australia
Overheard by: Rachelle
Grunt #1: I figured out the perfect way to get the TV remote from my wife late at night.
Grunt #2: Yeah?
Grunt #1: I act horny. She’d rather give up the TV than give up the ass.
46 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Partner: Can you please find a nice Jewish lawyer who can unfuck this situation for me?
Dallas, Texas
Old female shop assistant: The company uses really good boxes to send their stuff in, hey…
Young female shop assistant: What's so good about them?
Old female shop assistant: They're really easy to fold, not hard or anything.
Young female shop assistant: Yes, I love a good box.
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Ellie
Office worker #1: Marta's got a heart-on!
Office worker #2: What?
Office worker #1: A heart. She's wearing a heart necklace! She has a heart necklace on today.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: E.
Boss, reading e-mail out loud: “Middle cube's a bunch of sheep-shaggers”? Minus Jane*, of course! (laughs)
Coworker: Why? She could get a strap on…
Beverly, Massachusetts
Younger waitress: I'm over it now. It was just something that happened in my life.
Older waitress: A blip.
Younger waitress: A year-long blip.
Older waitress: That's a long blip!
Younger waitress: Oh, no. I had a three-year blip once. That's the blip I compare all the other blips to.
Rye, New York
Overheard by: Corinne
Female co-worker #1: So, I watched this special on TV about how some people are born with two distinct sets of DNA. They had a guy on it that was half white and half black.
Female co-worker #2: Having one black nut and one white nut would be awesome.
Female co-worker #1: Um, yeah.
2600 McHale Court
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: John da peon
