Co-worker #1: Does this skirt unflatter me more badly?
Co-worker #2: I don’t even know how to answer that question.
216 Jackson Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois
Co-worker #1: Does this skirt unflatter me more badly?
Co-worker #2: I don’t even know how to answer that question.
216 Jackson Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois
Co-worker #1: My corner is dark and quiet.
Co-worker #2: You should move over here.
Co-worker #3: Just make sure you don’t wear Stevie Wonder glasses over at your corner.
6000 Windward Parkway
Alpharetta, Georgia
Janitor #1: Daaamn man, I feel you!
Janitor #2: Yeah, man, but then there was that other thing…
Janitor #1: What you talkin’ ’bout, man? She’s fucking hot!
Janitor #2: The whole gang-rape thing. Dunno ’bout that.
Janitor #1: … Oh.
Main Breezeway, Johns Hopkins Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: just another med student
Peon #1: I gotta call ’em. They’re in Georgia. Is it too early?
Peon #2: What do you mean?
Peon #1: Aren’t they behind us? What time is it there? … Where’s Georgia?
Clements Bridge Road
Barrington, New Jersey
Overheard by: worker on Eastern time
Office drone #1: I'd like to get some hamsters. That'd be cool. Then I could get an eagle, and let them go in the backyard so the eagle could get some exercise.
Office drone #2: Who are you–Michael Vick?
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Isotope Feeney
Coworker, on phone to husband: Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but… You should tell the doctor that you've… gotten smaller.
Annapolis, Maryland
Lady: See, I had taken my urine down to the cafeteria.
500 Indiana Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: David
Pretty bisexual waitress: You’ve got to have something to look forward to — one way or the other, I’m getting laid tonight.
Ugly asexual waiter: I know what you mean — I’m going to have breakfast food for dinner.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Smoking peon: I was like any normal kid — give me a Butane Torch, and I’m gonna burn everything I can find.
22nd Street and 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Christina
Co-worker #1: Did you see that email [Henry] sent?
Co-worker #2 & #3: Yes.
Co-worker #1: What does he mean by “COB”?
Co-worker #2 & #3: Conclusion of business.
Co-worker #1: Oh, I was hoping it meant “commencement of breakfast.”
10900 Stonelake Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: T the Munificent
