Person #1: Where are you going?
Person #2: To the elevator.
Person #1: Why are you going that way?
Person #2: Because that is the way I know.
Person #1: You are so British.
Office
New York City, New York
Person #1: Where are you going?
Person #2: To the elevator.
Person #1: Why are you going that way?
Person #2: Because that is the way I know.
Person #1: You are so British.
Office
New York City, New York
Coworker #1, wielding a letter opener: C’mon, it isn’t that sharp.
Coworker #2: Still, in a fist-fight I’d pick it over bare fists.
Coworker #1, making a stabbing motion: Yeah!
3550 North University Avenue
Provo, Utah
Overheard by: Ambiguous Antecedent
Co-worker: Where do we sign up for that class? Ass-kissing 101?
‘Cause I think I have this negative reaction to it that’s holding me back, and I think that a class could really help me break down barriers.
1910 Pacific Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Barista to another after calling out drink orders: So, uh, what are you going to do with the dead body?
Starbucks
Burbank, California
Overheard by: rambunkcious
Part time girl: Isn't it illegal to work five days in a row?
Coworker: That's what normal people do.
Part time girl: Oh…that sucks.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Nicole
Maniac: Come in, I won’t bite anymore.
Worker: …Won’t bite…anymore?
Maniac: I usedta work at a veternarian. He usedta lock me up with the animals in a cage! When they’d bark, the only way to get them to stop was to bark at them. And bite them–on the ear!
708 Broadway elevator
New York, NY
Overheard by: Kevin Davidson
Coworker on phone: It's a shoe… or a snake.
Lawrence, Kansas
Engineer to another: Well, if you’re out of ammunition, then you must be an atheist.
2400 Congress Street
Portland, Oregon
Worker #1: Did you know that Big Lots closed all of its furniture stores down? It was no IKEA but it sure had a few nice things in there. Damn I am full of gas this afternoon.
Worker #2: I didn’t know they had furniture stores…
Worker #1: Yeah…They have surely came a long way since I was a kid. They always had like the crappiest food stuff. They are a close-out store, right?
Worker #2: I didn’t know they had food.
Worker #1: Well, not food food, but like cereal.
Worker #2: Oh, shelf food. Yeah.
Worker #1: Yeah..I would totally not buy discontinued bananas. That’s just rank.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Office drone #1: Hello, may I help you? (pause) Who? Allen Michaels?* Please hold.
(shouting) Does anyone know where Allen* is?
Office drone #2: He's not in yet. Don't know where he is.
Office drone #1: I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. He said he'll call you back. (pause) Yes, he knows it's urgent. Thank you. (hangs up)
Brooklyn
New York
Overheard by: Jay-B (I work in a wacky place)
