Sales guy: So, Tim*, you’re finished training that guy already?
Support dude: Yeah, it was going to be all day, but his bottom got sore and he had to go home.
Islington
London
Sales guy: So, Tim*, you’re finished training that guy already?
Support dude: Yeah, it was going to be all day, but his bottom got sore and he had to go home.
Islington
London
Black guy: What would you say if I said I wanted to get a Mystic Tan?
Tanning consultant: Oh, you could. It would give you a nice glow.
Black guy: You’re not even going to discourage me?! I would never get a spray on tan. The blacker you are, the higher people assume your crime rate is.
North 222 Plaza
Reading, Pennsylvania
Female potential juror: I can’t sit on a jury for religious reasons. I don’t believe in judging people.
Lawyer: This is a negligence case. You won’t be deciding if somebody is good or evil. There’s no question of morality involved.
Female potential juror: Whatever — it’s against my religious convictions to judge people.
Lawyer: You understand that we’re not asking you to send someone to Hell — you just have to decide whether or not they were clumsy.
Supreme Court
Schenectady, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Inspector: So, are you still a slave to Cox?
200 Quality Circle
College Station, Texas
Female agent on phone: You gonna have supper ready when I get home? I don’t care… Fine, chicken. Fried chicken. Whatever, get your ass in the kitchen and make me some fried chicken. Just shut up and go make me some chicken, I’ll be home in an hour [hangs up]. My husband is so whipped.
Evans Building
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Going Gay
Consultant on phone: No, Sandy*, you are not allowed to take your pet chicken on the domestic flights.
Other line: [Muffled yelling.]Consultant: Sandy, I have already told you — even if it is in a cage, we do not allow pets in the cabin. Only guide dogs or police dogs. You will have to send it as cargo. [Other line hangs up.] Good God! Who the fuck wants to take a chicken away for summer vacation with them?!
Auckland
New Zealand
Receptionist: This morning I was sitting up here and I looked out the window in the courtyard and there was a guy getting dressed.
Guy: Black guy? Construction boots? [Receptionist nods.] Yeah, he sleeps there.
Receptionist: Hmmm. I wouldn’t think you’d wanna sleep in the courtyard of an office.
Guy: Well, I imagine if you’re homeless that’s one of the better spots.
Receptionist: Oh, I didn’t realize he was homeless. I just thought he was resting or whatever…
2931 North Druid Hills Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Consultant: Oh my god, sorry! I'm slow. And like… dumb.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: meeting jockey
CSR lady: Looks like you two are gonna have to conversate via email from now on.
Intern: Conversate? You mean ‘converse’?
CSR lady: I mean ‘conversate.’ Same damn thing.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Customer service associate to graphic artist: Yeah, I just wanted to get your uninformed opinion on that file.
Nashville, Tennessee
