Pay No Attention to My Hooves

Realtor: Want a cookie?
Investor: Nah, I can’t — it’s not kosher.
Realtor: Sure it is.
Investor: No, I can’t. I’m Jewish. I gotta abide by the law.
Realtor: Come on, it’s just one cookie.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Amused assistant

Posted on June 4, 2015
Consultants, Ohio, Religion

12PM Troubleshooting Meeting

Consultant: That is correct, we’ve found that problem in the past to be…well…problematic.

111 East 71st Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on June 2, 2015
Consultants, General Idiocy, Indiana

9AM Here We Go Again

Medical claims analyst: Have I ever shown you the x-ray of my head?

1009 Windcross Court
Franklin, Tennessee

Posted on May 15, 2015
Body Parts, Consultants, Health & Hygiene, Offers and requests, Questions, Tennessee

It Does, but Not in the Way You Mean

Graphic designer holding two envelopes with different designs: Are you curious?
Marketing coordinator: I dunno… Are you bi-curious?
Graphic designer, stunned: Do you know what that means?
Marketing coordinator: Ummm… Doesn’t it mean doubly curious?

401 South Jackson Street
Seattle, Washington

Posted on May 7, 2015
Consultants, Sexuality, Washington

And Clean Up after Yourselves

Flight attendant: … And if this love plane becomes a love boat, please use your seat cushion as a flotation device.

Sacramento International Airport
California

Overheard by: Wishing I wasn’t sitting next to my grandmother

Posted on May 5, 2015
Advice, California, Consultants

Which We Do, Since We Voted for Bush in 2004

Partner to associates at attorney meeting: Billable hours are down for the year. Based on what we’ve billed so far, we have approximately four attorneys too many… assuming people are fungible.

Indianapolis, Indiana