Something I Would Advise Against

20-something woman to 50-something man: I am not telling you what a Dirty Sanchez is. If you’re so interested just Google it!

Oak Park, Michigan

Posted on July 15, 2015
Advice, Consultants, Michigan

Game, Set, Match.

50-something American manager: So you're going to Disney World on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and coming back Sunday? Have you see our airports when they're busy?
20-something Indian consultant: Have you seen our trains, anytime?

Wayne, New Jersey

Posted on July 13, 2015
Bosses, Consultants, Holidays, New Jersey, Questions, Time Management, Travel

You Don’t Have to Be Dead to Work Here, But It Helps

Lawyer: Did you hear about Vanessa*?
Secretary: No. What about her?
Lawyer: Yeah, poor Vanessa. She woke up dead on July 4th.

Broad Street
Louisville, Georgia

Posted on July 9, 2015
Consultants, Death, General Idiocy, Georgia, Gossip, Holidays, Legal, Receptionists

The Waterman ‘Fountains of Wayne,’ for Example, Never Disappoints

Woman: Now feel this one. Don’t be afraid to show your lady customers the heftier pen. Some women like to have something with a larger diameter in their hand.

Washington, DC

Posted on July 6, 2015
Advice, Consultants, Gossip, Washington DC

And What Is Your Plan for Keeping It from Them?

Analyst: I can give you the numbers in those divisions, but you can’t go public with it.
Marketing manager: I’m not going to go public with it, just present it at a meeting.
Analyst: Who’s going to be at the meeting?
Marketing manager: It’s a stakeholder meeting. So, whoever wants to, you know. It’s open to the public.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Posted on July 5, 2015
Admins, Arizona, Consultants, Meetings

I’ll Just Put on My Earflap Hat

Worker bee: Will this be in Canadian or English?

100 Centre Drive
Austin, Texas

Posted on June 28, 2015
Consultants, Questions, Texas

1PM Lunch

Worker #1: He has a groin pull so he’s asking for pain pills .
Worker #2: He told me he hurt his leg.
Consultant: Yeah, my third leg. I’m a tripod.
Worker #1: A tripod wouldn’t have hurt himself playing basketball with a 50 or under league.

100 Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Regina C

Posted on June 26, 2015
Body Parts, Comebacks, Consultants, Coworkers, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Sports

Pay No Attention to My Hooves

Realtor: Want a cookie?
Investor: Nah, I can’t — it’s not kosher.
Realtor: Sure it is.
Investor: No, I can’t. I’m Jewish. I gotta abide by the law.
Realtor: Come on, it’s just one cookie.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Amused assistant