Art director to photographer: So, how big is your rack?
(rest of table bursts out laughing)
Art director: Okay! I guess we're all 13 here!
Photographer: You gotta admit, that was good.
Art director: Yeah, it was good.
(at the end of photo shoot meeting)
Art director: Don't forget to bring your rack on Friday!
Van Nuys, California
Camera assistant: Your dog’s getting drunk off my pants.
Culver City, California
Cube dweller: Where are my pretzels? I just feel like putting stuff in my mouth.
Scotts Valley, California
Overheard by: Mari
Worker: Didn’t the doctor say that you have to lose weight because it was pressing down on your diaphragm and giving you breathing problems?
A/P drone: Men have diaphragms?
Century City, California
Overheard by: Squelch
Locksmith: Yeah, you gotta read “1994.” Orson Welles. Really knows his stuff. Everything he wrote in that book is happening right now. You gotta read it.
Sherman Oaks, California
Overheard by: Ja'mie
Engineer #1: So how’s it going?
Engineer #2: Crazy. Completely crazy. Why’d you ask?
Engineer #1: Because I care, dumbass.
500 Howard Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: really touched
Boss, abruptly: Should I give this porn star money?
Los Angeles, California
Receptionist: I don’t know whether to throw up my hands or just throw up.
550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: oldcorps50
CEO to new sales rep: Use your judgment when it comes to payment schedules. If they sound like good people — you know, like normal Americans on the phone — we’ll bill them. But Ay-rabs and Orientals pay COD. You have to watch those bastards, ’cause they’ll all fuck you.
1190 North Del Rio Place
Ontario, California
Overheard by: Really glad I gave notice yesterday
Editor: This story is too long. We've got to whack off about eight inches here.
Modesto, California
