Cube dweller: I hear you got a new person in your department. That should help with the load.
IT geek: Yeah. Too bad she's fat and ugly.
Cube dweller: But you'd fuck her anyway if you got the chance. Right?
IT geek (sighing): Yeah, I probably would.
Woodland Hills, California
Overheard by: Gunboat
Office lady to coworker: I don't mean to be offensive, but he's a handsome rapist.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Jennifer
Flustered bailiff: Ok, I sound a little obsessed with this woman I have zero connection to other than she had sex with the delivery guy my married co-worker has a crush on, but seriously, what a whore.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Administration
Producer, on phone: I don’t know how to make this more clear: Eat the bugs! You have to eat the bugs! Open your mouth, plug your nose, and shove the bugs in your mouth!
6727 Odessa Avenue
Van Nuys, California
Employee: Fuck you very much for calling Blockbuster; how may I abuse you?…Oh, hi, Bill* [regional manager]…Yeah, today’s my last day.
Blockbuster
Del Mar, California
Overheard by: Petyr
Suit to a group of coworkers who just crowded into elevator: Do you think we’ll get to talk about Matt’s nuggets at this morning’s meeting?
SoMa
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Green
Nurse, pointing to birth control questionnaire: Ma’am, I think you answered this question incorrectly.
15-year-old girl: No, that’s right.
Nurse: It asks how long you’ve been with your current partner. You said five minutes.
15-year-old girl: That’s how long it took.
616 Court Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Vicky
Art director to photographer: So, how big is your rack?
(rest of table bursts out laughing)
Art director: Okay! I guess we're all 13 here!
Photographer: You gotta admit, that was good.
Art director: Yeah, it was good.
(at the end of photo shoot meeting)
Art director: Don't forget to bring your rack on Friday!
Van Nuys, California
Camera assistant: Your dog’s getting drunk off my pants.
Culver City, California
Cube dweller: Where are my pretzels? I just feel like putting stuff in my mouth.
Scotts Valley, California
Overheard by: Mari
