High school senior #1: I am thinking about taking pre-med, I just hope it's not hard. I kind of like science.
High school senior #2: Why not study business?
High school senior #1: Because in my thoughts business always fails, but science is always, like… good.
Fresno, California
Old Australian man trying to flirt with young female barista: Remember back in the old ages when we could burn women at the stake? That was lovely!
Young female barista: Hahaha!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: jerry
New guy: You tend to put a lot of extraneous information in your reports.
Lifer: “Extraneous”? There's one I don't hear often. I generally get “terse.”
New guy: Oh, I just think “extraneous” is a better adjective.
Lifer: They are opposites!
Irvine, California
Overheard by: never a dull moment
Cube dweller: I hear you got a new person in your department. That should help with the load.
IT geek: Yeah. Too bad she's fat and ugly.
Cube dweller: But you'd fuck her anyway if you got the chance. Right?
IT geek (sighing): Yeah, I probably would.
Woodland Hills, California
Overheard by: Gunboat
Office lady to coworker: I don't mean to be offensive, but he's a handsome rapist.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Jennifer
Flustered bailiff: Ok, I sound a little obsessed with this woman I have zero connection to other than she had sex with the delivery guy my married co-worker has a crush on, but seriously, what a whore.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Administration
Producer, on phone: I don’t know how to make this more clear: Eat the bugs! You have to eat the bugs! Open your mouth, plug your nose, and shove the bugs in your mouth!
6727 Odessa Avenue
Van Nuys, California
Employee: Fuck you very much for calling Blockbuster; how may I abuse you?…Oh, hi, Bill* [regional manager]…Yeah, today’s my last day.
Blockbuster
Del Mar, California
Overheard by: Petyr
Suit to a group of coworkers who just crowded into elevator: Do you think we’ll get to talk about Matt’s nuggets at this morning’s meeting?
SoMa
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Green
Nurse, pointing to birth control questionnaire: Ma’am, I think you answered this question incorrectly.
15-year-old girl: No, that’s right.
Nurse: It asks how long you’ve been with your current partner. You said five minutes.
15-year-old girl: That’s how long it took.
616 Court Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Vicky
