Employee: Hi.
Receptionist (without looking up): Hi.
(employee walks behind desk)
Receptionist (still not looking) What are you doing?
Employee: Shredding.
Receptionist (looks up confused): What?
Employee (turns on machine): Wow, your shredder is really slow.
Receptionist: That’s the laminator.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Walking to the Bathroom
Production Tech: Oh that’s right, I forgot, someone else is going to have to pick up Dillon* on Friday. I’m gonna go get married.
859 Cotting Court
Vacaville, California
Executive: At the end of December she agreed to voluntarily quit. She really wants to go and do that bendy thing — you know, yoga.
Portrero Hill
San Francisco, California
Salesgirl: How was your first trip to New York? Have a good time?
Salesman: Oh my god, it was awesome! All the restaurants we went to were amazing! So expensive, though.
Salesgirl: Yeah, Manhattan's pretty pricey.
Salesman: Yeah. (pause). I think the restaurants are expensive because they have to import all their supplies onto the island.
Studio City, California
Overheard by: goofopet
Agent, about actor: His nose shames Pinocchio!
Studio City, California
Operator: Thank you for calling Bayshore Medical Insurance*; how can I assist?
Caller: So who are you?
Operator: We’re an insurance company.
Caller: And what do you do?
Operator: We help you with your insurance.
Caller: I don’t understand.
Operator: Well, your boss gives you benefits for working there, and our job is to help you use your benefits.
Caller: I don’t have any benefits! I never signed up for this! Did my boss tell you to call me? Is he trying to set me up? Who told you to call me?
Operator: Sir, you called me.
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: The Man
Air steward, during safety demonstration: We are expecting some turbulence during this flight. Please remain seated with your seat belt buckled. Remember, we have worker's compensation and you don't.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Kirstoona
Guy on phone waiting for other end to pick up: If I’m going to get caught embezzling, it’s not going to be at a nonprofit– [other end picks up] –Hi, Deborah*!
San Francisco, California
Legal assistant #1: Do you know Andy Samberg?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
Legal assistant #1: What was his other song? Not “I'm on a boat”…
Legal assistant #2: “Jizz in my pants”?
Legal assistant #1: Oh, I thought it was “jizz on my face”. Wait… Am I on speakerphone?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
(office erupts in laughter)
Irvine, California
Overheard by: Legal Amusement
Man on street: Seriously, if I make one wrong keystroke, the whole company could go out of business.
corner of 2nd & Howard
San Francisco, California
