Project Manager: Hey, can I ask you a quick question?
Chief of office: Well I hope you don’t want an answer!
Project Manager: Do you mean now or, um, ever?
Chief of office: Ever!
830 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Project Manager: Hey, can I ask you a quick question?
Chief of office: Well I hope you don’t want an answer!
Project Manager: Do you mean now or, um, ever?
Chief of office: Ever!
830 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Operations Manager: You don’t like peanut butter? You’ve just blasphemed in my office!
10 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, California
Overheard by: Timbleweed
Senior Manager: They’re paying him $70,000 a year. What is he going to do? Live in a shack in the Bronx?
1345 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Maintenance guy: How many nervous breakdowns are we allowed to have in a year?
Office Manager: Excuse me?
Maintenance guy: I don’t know if we are supposed to stay within a goal.
5825 Chimney Rock Road
Houston, Texas
Employee #1: Yeah, I made out with girls when I was younger.
Employee #2: You did?
Employee #3: No way!
Boss: You know, that’s a Jewish thing.
Employee #2: What?
Boss: Yes, a lot of Jewish girls I know have fooled around with their girlfriends or are, you know, lesbians.
6 E. 32nd Street
New York, NY
Marketing Manager: Do we have any more blue bins?
Summer minion: Oh my God, no! Those bins are disappearing like a fat kid on cake.
66 Wellington Street W
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Account Exec: …I stopped by this morning to go over stuff from the call but you were out. Were you at [the client]’s?
VP: No, actually, to be perfectly honest, I just ate way too many grapes this morning.
555 Sparkman Drive NW
Huntsville, Alabama
Plant Manager: Thanks. That really takes a load off my ass. I’ve had a headache all day.
2nd Avenue S
Birmingham, Alabama
IT guy: Here, can you hold the microphone while he talks?
Account Manager: Sure. But can you tell me, what’s the sensitive part here? Is it just the tip? Or the whole head?
155 N. Pfingsten Road
Deerfield, Illinois
Intercom: This is an announcement from the building fire safety department; it is just a test. If you could not hear this message, please contact the fire warden. Thanks for your attention.
1221 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Office manager: Yeah, technically I’m supposed to be the one in charge of organizing everyone to evacuate if there is a fire. But…if this were the real thing, it’s every man for himself.
Co-worker: That’s horrible.
Office manager: The people I feel worst for are the handicapped. They have to find someone to help them out of the building…and I just don’t know who would do that.
3535 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
