Manager leaving toilet stall, to next person in line: Don’t worry — I didn’t leave anything in there.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Manager leaving toilet stall, to next person in line: Don’t worry — I didn’t leave anything in there.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Boss: So then you and Josh will need to mate together the two documents that you’re sending to customers, and include a note explaining why.
Co-worker: Sounds good. Starting in October, [Nathan] and I will send letters to inform all of our customers about our mating.
9630 S. Norwalk Boulevard
Santa Fe Springs, California
Overheard by: Josh
Employee on phone: My buddy just told me this story about how his wife was so drunk last weekend in a high-end club in the Hamptons, and she ran to the bathroom to puke but never fully made it to the toilet. On top of that, as she was puking everywhere, turns out she was also shitting herself. So now the whole club had to be closed down because it smelled like shit and puke. Isn’t that hysterical?
Boss walks in.
Employee to boss: Hey, do you know this club?
Boss: Yeah, I actually went there last Saturday night, but we left immediately because it smelled like shit and vomit.
60th Street & Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: holding-it-in
Male boss to female receptionist: Don’t worry about it. Your finger just got excited, is all.
1120 G Street NW
Washington, DC
Manager: If you want to get in on the Vulcan mind meld, you gotta come over here and chug some of this maple syrup.
650 Park Avenue
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Office Assistant: If I go back to the phone without an answer this guy is going to eat me out.
Manager: I think you mean chew you out.
1125 Colonel Drive
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: WOW @ CU
Marketing director: Eighty percent of what we do is called ‘wasting time.’
Massachusetts Avenue NE
Washington, DC
Chief: Tom's got it all wrong. Most of the gay men I meet are eloquent, they're fit, into the arts. Tom's none of this things. He's fat, he's got a mass of body hair, bad breath…it's like he's only gay in his brain.
Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
Manager: How we doin'?
Sales rep: Good!
Manager: Good.
Sales rep: Sales are good.
Manager: Good!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Project Manager
Financial director to IT tech who was having difficulty connecting a computer for a presentation: So, you can't get it up?
IT guy: Oh, don't say it like that…
Nashville, Tennessee
