Large lesbian boss to employee: I'm going to give her a mouthful… Uhm…I mean a…uhm, eyeful, uhm…wait, earful. I'm going to give her an earful.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Trying not to picture it
Large lesbian boss to employee: I'm going to give her a mouthful… Uhm…I mean a…uhm, eyeful, uhm…wait, earful. I'm going to give her an earful.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Trying not to picture it
Manager: New haircolor, huh? Did you fall into a bucket of paint?
Employee: New belt, huh? Did you fall into a buffet?
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Boss: I need you to email this to [Kevin].
Assistant: No problem, I have the electronic version right here. I’ll email it out in a sec.
Boss: Great…Oh, and make sure my notes don’t show up when you send it out.
Assistant: Your notes?
Boss: Yeah, the notes I wrote there in the margins.
Assistant: Um, don’t worry. They won’t.
Boss: Great, thanks.
Assistant: Just fucking retire already…Jesus!
300 West Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Grunt: Man, this consultant is absurdly high maintenance. I swear, the woman’s going to ask for a pony next!
Boss: Just get her what she wants. We need her on-board.
Grunt: Well, if she gets a pony, I want one, too.
Washington, DC
Regional Director: I’m so sorry you had to wait, I was on the phone then my assistant got me off. Did she offer you anything?
2800 Post Oak Boulevard
Houston, Texas
Male manager to female assistant carrying two cups of coffee: Double fisting? … Wow, sorry. I’m sorry.
175 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Emily
Lower-middle management: I know you're having lunch, but I'm trying to get this done by the end of the day…
Borderline wage-slave: Sure! And you don't care who gets trampled in your little march to “progress”!
Lower-middle management: Um, I'll come back later then…
Borderline wage-slave (cheerfully): Okay! See you later!
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Carver Stone
Designer: You shot the Rubik’s Cube contest?
Photographer: Yeah. It was like watching fat, naked men greased up in butter sumo wrestling. You don’t want to watch, but you can’t look away.
Designer: … You know, most people use the metaphor, ‘It was like watching a train wreck,’ but you took it to a really dark place.
323 E Grand River Avenue
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Dundie
Associate: Hey, can you come look at my pooter?
Manager: Your what?
Associate: What? … What? Come on, my computer!
Mass Street
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: tara
Laughing boss: Look, you guys, you can’t be talking about anal sex — we’ve had some complaints.
Server #1, laughing: I knew it! I knew she would tell on us. I told you Deb* was out to get us!
Server #2: Sooo, just when she’s not around, or at all?
Laughing boss: I can’t believe I have to say this…
Dining room, upscale retirement center
Bloomington, Illinois
