New girl: No, I want you to feel it because it's stiff.
Yaphank, New York
New girl: No, I want you to feel it because it's stiff.
Yaphank, New York
Beautiful supervisor on phone: How did that project I gave you go?
Tech support specialist: Well, I ran into a couple of…snatches.
Beautiful supervisor: Okay, well, I will come help you out.
Tech support specialist, hanging up phone: I meant to say “glitches,” I meant to say “glitches”!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Tech Anthony
Accountant on phone: And what does he want inserted there? And all the way down to the end? I don't think it will fit.
New York City, New York
Male coworker to female coworker: Did you get your legs waxed? Geez, your legs are so shiny I can see my face in them.
Orlando, Florida
65-year-old female manager to male manager: Every time I talk to this woman it turns into a huge dick-waving contest. (pause) I think she has finally realized that I am the queen of winning dick-waving contests.
Mobile, Alabama
Overheard by: Winning this contest any day
Attorney: Don't make any appointments for me this weekend, I'm going to a rodeo.
Minion: Are you in it?
Attorney: Yeah.
Minion: I didn't know you rode.
Attorney: Well, if you put enough hardware on it you can ride anything.
Minion: (laughing)
Attorney: I meant the horse.
Minion: (laughing uncontrollably)
Attorney: Get out of my office!
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: Does it come with instructions?
Editor: So my gynecologist's office just called to say that she retired–a week before my next appointment.
Writer: What? That's weird.
Editor: Yeah. Thanks so much.
Writer: Well, it's only your vagina. No big deal.
Editor: Yeah, nothing much ever happens there anyway.
Augusta, Georgia
Production assistant, after something crashes to the floor: Oh thank god, I thought you dropped a camera.
Editor: Nope. That was just my ball sack slamming into the floor.
Chappaqua, New York
Overheard by: I can't believe I work here…
Coworker: Hey, what's that on your pants?
Pocket Hercules: Oh, this? It's just a little protein shake.
Coworker: What?
Pocket Hercules: Wait, that didn't sound right!
Bloomington, Minnesota
Girl #1: It is cold in here.
Girl #2: Well, then wear a sweater.
Girl #3: Can you please turn it down? My ovaries are starting to freeze!
Stony Brook University Medical Center
Stony Brook, New York
Overheard by: laura d
